New Year's Eve Mad Monday weigh in....

Looking back over the last 12 months it seems 2012 was not so great.

I have been angry (OVER THE TOP)!
I have been stressed (TOO MUCH)!
I have been sad (A LOT)!
I have been lonely (OFTEN)!

BUT, I have a new appreciation for my small family of 4. I look at the smiles on the faces of my girls and those smiles have new meanings.

I turned 40 this year. Age ain't nothing but a thing. But, I've learned a lot this year. One of the most important lessons I've learned and the most challenging to overcome? Unlearn that which has caused the most negative over the last 40 years. And I am talking about this in more ways then just the weight aspect.

The second most important lesson I've re-learned (I learned this long ago but forgot sometime in 2012)? Surrounding myself with positive people and positive energy changes my outlook on life and makes me want to be better!

I have learned to love differently.
I have learned that loving me is not selfish.
I have learned that no matter how hard I try, I cannot fix everything.
I have learned that smelling the roses along the way, slows things down just enough to put things in perspective.

I have made some major life changing decisions, one of which includes having lap band surgery. I have lost 39.8 lbs prior to today, my clothes are baggier, and I feel much better.

I wasn't expecting big results at this weeks weigh in....but.... today's weight.... 234.0!! Down 1 lb since Christmas Eve a week ago! Totally UNEXPECTED!!

So here are my totals:
40.8 lbs down since 8/22/12!
26.2 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

So tonight what will I toast to??

To lessons learned and the unknown!

May 2013 bring what it will bring.
May I be wise enough find happiness
and peace it whatever the future holds
and offer forgiveness.

I hope your New Year is filled with happiness and peace, hope and forgiveness, and love and family!

May you look forward to the unknown.

Be safe and enjoy the celebration as we ring in the New Year!

A New Year's Resolution!

As always I have the same resolution this year as I have over the last 3 years.

My New Year's resolution?!?! Not to make any New Year's resolutions.

I started this several years ago for one reason. Less Stress...... I was so worried about the promises I made to myself at the beginning of the year, I would feel guilty and angry about not reaching any of them throughout the year that I was just way to stressed. So, no resolutions = less stress for me. Cop-out?!?! Nope. No more excuse after excuse.

What do I vow?

I vow to take one day at a time, hour by hour if needed, address successes when they happen and failures that way too. Make changes on a daily basis and "don't fix what ain't broke!" If it's working let it work.

Weigh-in tomorrow. Not looking so forward to it, but it will be what it will be and we will go from there.

Cheers!

Holiday Sweets....

ARGHHH..... There are so many sweets around the house. And it is not even the sweets that I made last week. These are the new pies and cookies that my mom sent back with us for the kids and the hubby.

Yes I have been picking at these for the last few days. I don't think there has been a weight gain this week but I am definitely not expecting a loss at my Monday weigh in. How do I get it to stop!?! I feel like all my will power has gone straight out the window! And I was doing so well....

I was even thinking that maybe I was in the "green zone" with my fills but I feel like I am getting hungrier and could eat more. Is this normal? A few weeks after my fills I seem to feel hungry. I defiantly don't feel like I have the restriction I did right after I was filled.

I think I might be freaking about my calorie intake too. Maybe I am becoming obsessed? I seem to be eating between 1100 - 1500 calories a day. And the major reason for the increase has been sweets. I know I need to stop. UGH. The holiday season is horrid.

I seem to do pretty well during the day, its the nights that get me.

OK So tomorrow I will get up and go swimming. I need to keep telling myself to stay away from the sweets. I really need to get back on track.

Have a great night!

Now that the food comas have past....

Thankfully I did pretty well over Christmas. I was concerned because I felt like I ate WAY too much but when I weighed myself Wednesday morning I weighted the same as I did at my Monday weigh in. I often feel like i eat way too much.

I feel like I am still having a hard time identifying when I feel full. I have read many people have soft signals but I haven't been able to identify any....I don't think...Tonight I stopped eating when It felt like there was too much going down my throat. I was afraid I would have a "stuck" episode. This is probably a bad thing right?

So tonight after dinner I felt really full. It took about 30 minutes for that feeling to go away. I wasn't miserable or uncomfortable, but I don't understand why I even got to that point.

Any suggestions?

Thanks for all your help!

Mad Monday Weigh-in......

Merry Christmas Eve!! Today we bake some more :)

I have been reading everyone's blog and the early Christmas presents they have received. How exciting!

Well for me....I had set a personal goal I was hoping to reach by the end of the year. I wanted to get down to 235 by then. I was super sceptical on my weight loss this week because I had to cancel 2 of my swimming appointments and really haven't done much of anything else beside holiday preparation.

Low and behold when I stepped on the scale this morning, what to my wondering eyes should appear...No not a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer...but the scale read 235.0!!! Down 2.2 lbs from last week!!

So here are my totals:
39.8 lbs down since 8/22/12!
25.2 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

Now to maintain through the New Year with all the food that will be around this week. I am totally loving the lifestyle changes I have chosen to make! I might give my scale a New Year's smooch! We are developing a great relationship!

Tonight we have Chicken Parmesan and pasta for dinner and in keeping with our family traditions, the girls each get to open one present from under the tree!

 

I haven't always liked the holidays. I have always kind of dreaded them. Especially Christmas....But this year seems different. I am enjoying things....and enjoying watching my girls grow and having a great time with them. I feel full...I feel complete...for the first time in as long as I can remember.

 

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May your home be filled with laughter and love this holiday season.

Holiday Traditions....

Growing up with an Italian family there were lots of holiday traditions. I remember the 20 foot table that was always set up for our family dinner. There had to have been 40 people celebrating the holidays together. There was always a seperate table for us kids and one of the tables was filled with food and desserts. Everything was made from scratch!

I like traditions. We have always made some kind of homemade pasta and every Christmas we would always start with Cappellettis. This year is no different. So In honor of the season the girls and I made pasta!

Cappellettis

 

Fettuccine

 

And hopefully these traditions will carry on with my kids. Quality time with my babies & good homemade pasta!! Tomorrow we will make some more cookies And enjoy Chicken Parmesan for Christmas Eve Dinner.

 

What family traditions are important to you?

 

Enjoy your family!



In full swing...

"The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon will be there."

 

The holidays are in full swing at our house. Cooking, baking, shopping, repeat.

 

I canceled swimming 2 days this last week and felt so guilty. But this morning I went swimming before the shopping started and did pretty well. Then out to the stores we went, YIKES!! So many people.

 

That's OK. I think we got most of it finished. Didn't eat great today since we were out and about all day. Tired but accomplished for today!

 

What does tomorrow bring? Baking and cooking for Christmas and wrapping and wrapping and wrapping!! So glad I don't have to go back to work til Wednesday!

 

"After all, Santa Claus is coming to town!"

 

Have a fabulous evening!!

SHHHHH I played hooky today!!

And baked all day!

With all the happenings with my company being sold and the inevitable layoff headed my way a few months from now, I just wasn't feeling that "Let's go to work and give 110% today!". So I didn't, I played sick and baked all day.

I found out yesterday that my 2 bosses both already have new jobs and will be gone shortly after the new year. So that means more work is headed my way since I plan on staying until the very end. Unless of course something better comes up!

Bad thing about baking all day, is tasting all of the finished products and forgetting to drink my water because I was busy all day long. Also forgot to take my vitamins and basically forgot to actually eat. I had a shake this morning and green chili with a tortilla for dinner but that was about it.

Anyway, totally bad for the waistline but something I have been doing every year for the holidays is baking some italian goodies.

This is how my day started...Nice and clean!

And it ended up like this....

 

And the results of this mess!?!?!? Yummy!!! I am taking these all to work so they can be eaten there!

 

Almond Crescent Cookies!

 

Chocolate Chip Cookies & Lemon Almond Biscotti!

 

Cranberry Pistachio Biscotti!

Pizzelles & Canoli Shells!

Hopefully this will conclude my baking for the season! We have fondue planned for New Year's.

My goal for the next 10 days?!?!? Not to gain ANY weight over the holidays!

Happy Thursday! So glad tomorrow is Friday followed by 4 days off!

 

 

 

 

Another Mad Monday Weight In!

This seems so unreal to me. I know this will slow down and when it does I hope I'm not totally bummed out.

The results are in.....(Drum roll please....) 237.2!!! Lose of 3.4 lbs since last Monday!

I even took a picture to prove it :-)

So here are my totals:
37.6 lbs down since 8/22/12!
23.0 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

It must seem odd that I am tracking 2 dates above, but let me explain why. Both of these dates were life changing for me.

 I was forced to quit smoking back in April in order to have surgery. I don't know if it was a requirement of my insurance or a requiremet of my doctor but I think it was a doctor's requirement. I quit smoking on Friday, April 13th 2012. Last Thursday was my 8 month quit anniversary. Well, when I quit smoking I weighed 257.6. I knew quitting was going to make me gain weight but I really let myself go and gained 17.2 lbs, now 274.8, by August 22nd 2012. My highest weight EVER!! This was a depressing but eye opening reality. There was one person on this planet that could make a change and it was me and only me. So I could continue down the destructive path I was on and keep making excuses or I could take this tool I was having surgery to install and actually run with it. So on 8/22/12 I signed up at Swim Labs and committed to swimming 30 minutes a day Monday - Friday. I have to make appointments to get in and I hate breaking appointments so this was going to keep me accountable.

So, this is why I track both of these dates. They are important milestones for me.

Honestly, I don't know if I picked the worst time in life to do all this or the best. Life has been more than challenging over the last 18 months than I can remember and it seems like bad things just keep happening and adding more stress.

But, I am determined to overcome! And I will do it by reading your blogs and finding strength and inspiration in them.

Thank you for helping me succeed along the way. Your journeys and honesty help us so very much! It truely does help to know there are people out there struggling with similar issues.

Have a great week!

Repost from Drazil:

For the Sandy Hook angels....

 

On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We will post the button and that's it. Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.

We are also raising money that will go to an organization in the memory of this tragedy. The organization is called The Newtown Family Youth and Family Services.

Here is the official description of the support service we are donating to:

"Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic

and youth services bureau dedicated to helping children and families achieve their

highest potential. NYFS provides programs, services, activities, counseling, support

groups and education throughout the Greater Newtown area.

ANY DONATIONS MADE TO NEWTOWN YOUTH AND FAMILY SERVICES WILL BE DONATED DIRECTLY TO THOSE EFFECTED BY THE SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SHOOTING."

Please visit THIS PAGE to make your donation.

We can't imagine how they must be feeling, especially this close to the holidays. We would love for you to spread the word on your own blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Let's make a difference and use blogging in a positive way.

Thank you in advance for participating.

Love,

The Blog World

p.s. If you would like to, copy-paste and repost any part of this, please do. Share on.

Unreal...

I have nothing today. The news from Connecticut is devastating. As a nation we have been through so much. Todays tragic events are horrifyingly disgusting. These poor families. There is nothing I can say....

Second Fill Today!

Another 1.25 cc's was added to my 10 cc band today making my total fill level 5.75. I got a lot of questions answered today and had a good converstaion with the nurse practitioner.

One of the questions she asked me was if I felt restriction last time I had a fill. And my answer was "You know, what exactly should that feel like?!?!" Well after my fill today I think I may have figured it out. I had a 12 oz Chai Tea today and I was SO full afterwards. I am going to keep close tabs on this over the next few days and see if I can really tell a difference. At 5.75 cc's I would imagine I will be noticing something soon.

Today's weight on the doctor's scale was 243. Not liking that number. My scale says about 3 lbs less. But I was fully dressed and it was the middle of the day when I went. My doctor doesn't offer morning appointments. This was a strange bit of information I found out today.

Anyway, work tomorrow! Have a great Thursday!!

And the results are in!

240.6....loss of 1.2 lbs this week!! Not great but I will take it. I did a lot of not so great eating this last week so I am pretty happy with that. I am so ready to hit that 20 lbs mark since surgery!

Totals:
34.2 lbs down since 8/22/12
24.8 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet on 10/12/12
19.6 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

Tonights dinner - 1 Cup Healthy Choice Chicken Tortilla Soup w/ 1/4 cup Stinkin Good Green Chili, 2 tbsp. Fat Free Sour Cream & 5 baked Wonton Wrappers.

290 Calories
2.5 grams Fat
15.75 grams of protien

 

I also burned 301 calories swimming "on the zone" for 38 minutes today!

 

My mini goal is to be down 20 lbs by Wednesday 12/12/12. That is my 2 month appointment and my second fill. I so want to break that 240 mark!

 

Have a great evening! and Thanks for reading!

 

 

Party On!!

Last night was my companies last ever Christmas party. Everyone had a great time! I did really well with dinner but enjoyed several empty calorie drinks and dancing. It is sad to think it's the last party we will all get together for after 7 years, but we did have a great time with some totally great people!!
My outfit consisted of clothes that were the size I would typically wear but they were a little baggier than normal. I'm ok with that. Here's a couple pictures from last night!

 

Tonight the family is going to the Botanical Gardens for pretty lights, Ice Skating, and Hot Coco (Hopefully they will have sugar free)! I haven't ice skated in probably 25+ years. We will see how brave I am tonight.

 

Weigh in day tomorrow!

What I have learned about...

Technology: A few weeks ago I purchased a Polar FT4 heart rate monitor. The main reason for my purchase was so I could better keep track of my calorie burn while I was in the pool. The first 2 weeks that I had the monitor it worked great! No issues at all. This week however, it is being flaky. Sometimes it shows 00 for a heart rate, sometimes it shows 50 and sometimes it's where it should be. So after researching further on the internet I have learned that cleaning the sensors on the chest strap and tightening the chest strap as tight as I can stand it seems to help. And the chest strap is tight let me tell you. Today it worked much better. Thank goodness because Monday and Tuesday I was totally distracted by the fact that it was not working and my workouts were horid.

Technology II: The waterproof case that I purchased to house my Ipod shuffle while I swim worked pretty good. The only complaint that I have is that the ear phones have to be messed with a bit throughout my swimming. So I think I will change the ear peices and see if I can find a better fit. It came with like 10 different ear peices. From what I have read, if you can tuck the ear peices under the swim cap it will help but mine creeps up my head while I swim, All in all, my shuffle stayed 100% dry. The sound quality was good and it did help me pick up the pace in the water. It is not the prettiest thing in the world but it serves its purpose and helped make my 30 minutes in the pool more fun! Here is what it looks like...

Myself: For some reason this week started off tough. I was very distracted by my troublesome technology, I was tired when I was swimming, and my knees hurt even when kicking in the pool. This is not normal! I feel more stressed out than usual and it's holiday time. So.... What can I do? I thought pushing the work outs up a notch would help but I'm not feeling it. Today was totally different I felt great in the water, maybe it's because with the music I couldn't think about life. I guess we will see how things go moving forward.

Happy Hump Day Evening! Tootles!

Mad Monday Weigh in....

My scale and I are really developing a positive relationship. I never thought I would enjoy watching the scale so much.

So the results are in and ..... 241.8....loss of 2.2 lbs this week!!

Totals:
33.0 lbs down since 8/22/12
23.6 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet
18.4 lbs down since surgery!

I am not sure which date to keep track of so I'm giving all 3. I guess it makes me feel better! :)

Happy Monday!

This weekend was.....

Interesting. This post might be a little "all over the place". Fair warning! :)

After finding out last Monday that I am getting laid off in March and feeling kind of lost all week I feel like the weekend was kind of productive.

Saturday I did not do much. We ran a few errands and I did not work out. For some reason I feel this need for a day of rest. But then I always end up over eating. My hubby and I went out to dinner to discuss the furture. I finished the day below 1200 calories but I felt quilty for eating so much. My typical day is between 700 and 900 calories. I am not sure what I am supposed to be taking in, when I had my initial appointment back in April they told me I should be eating between 1250 & 1450. This seems like a lot. So I will stick with the 700 - 900 for now. I am getting in a lot of protien and my weight is going down so why fix it if it isn't broken.

Anyway, besides my over eating,  we did come up with a plan for when I am laid off and I feel better now. This made Sunday seem a bit less stressful. I am going to work on getting a few things in order over the next few months, but mainly I am working to get through the holidays right now. I have never been excited for the holidays.

Sunday we went for a 2 mile walk. According to my HRM I burned 340 calories and I consumed a total of 824 calories. For the most part I made good food choices. Had a bit of a sweet tooth today though. Kind of ruined that with the tablespoon of Nestle's Chocolate Chip cookie dough I had tonight.

I purchased a waterproof thingy to hold an ipod shuffle so I can swim and listen to music so I think this will help me to pick up the pace in the pool. Walking this morning got me going when some Bruce Springsteen came through my ear phones! I was cookin'!! Even my husband had trouble keeping up! (I use to have issues keeping up with him 8 months ago.)

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am kind of excited to see where the scale is at. I know it went in the right direction since I weigh myself a gazillion times a day, but tomorrow will be the true 7 day number.

Have a fabulous evening!