Monday, September 30, 2013

Reboot Day 5...

Well I missed my weigh in today....darn!! I will weigh in tomorrow. I, however and not expecting good results.

What did I do this weekend? There was lots of food involved. Saturday I was so tired from waking up at 4:30 in the morning that I didn't work out. My nephew was here so we went to the movies with him! We went to a place where you can eat and watch a movie at the same time, he wanted to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 so that is what we did. It was pretty good I do have to say.
I didn't make good food choices.  But we made funny faces together!
Saturday night was a birthday dinner with My Lovely. It was nice to get together with her! We have both been so busy that we haven't been able to get together for weeks! We had a delicious cold cheese dip as an appetizer and I chose Cobb salad for dinner. Then she ordered desert...of course I ate it, we shared. Too much food this weekend.

Sunday I did work out. I did the elliptical for 20 minutes, ran on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and then did some strength training with my resistance bands. I so didn't want to work out but I forced myself to do so. I'm glad I did!
I was somewhere around 500 calories burned during my workout.

Today was super busy, I didn't have time to work out today. I had to get paperwork to my accountant so we could get our taxes filed. I put it off til the last minute and it took me too long this morning.

Food day was great until around 9:30. Then I caved and had 2 cookies and a bowl of cereal. Talk about sabotage. So I finished the day with way to many calories, 1576.

On the upside, I did log my food today for the first time in a month. I was planning on doing protein shakes for a few days but I am out of protein powder. There is some on order.

OK Anyway, tomorrow is a new day! And I really need to get serious again and stop feeling sorry for myself.

I 'm a little confused by this weight gain. I haven't been eating great. But I know I am not eating 7000 calories a day. Hell I know I'm not even eating 3500 calories a day. I am not getting in my water and I have been working out all week. For 2 weeks now and I am gaining. WTH?

My routine has changed so much its horrible and my results are totally showing it. So, I am going to bed so I can start again tomorrow. My eyes are closing too.

Sleep well everyone! And thanks for stopping by! :)

Saturday, September 28, 2013

It's 5 o'clock somewhere....Reboot day 3....

And I am awake! On a Saturday, for no apparent reason. And I am out of Candy Crush lives, and all my Facebook Friends are asleep. WTH?!?!?

Not sure why I am awake at this hour. Mornings are not really my thing, especially 5 in the morning!

Since the entire house is still asleep it's a tad too early to start up the treadmill. I think sound of running might sound like a freight train at this hour. And it is too early to go outside, and too dark. Plus it was supposed to freeze last night. AH fall in Colorado!

So I sit with a cup of Chai, FB and Candy Crush. Since all of those have already been exhausted, I will blog!

Yesterday I made more progress towards my reboot. Not perfect, the sweets are killing me. But I did work out. I was running late yesterday so I didn't get to elliptical, but I Zumba'd! On the Wii, and took O'ryan for a walk. Burned 367 calories.
Forgot again to log my food. Hopefully today I can remember to do that.
Hollee gave me an idea that had never crossed my mind! Thanks Hollee! Using protein shakes to aide in my reboot. I like this idea and I think I will give it a try. Beginning Sunday. I have plans later tonight with a friend to go out for dinner.
I actually like protein shakes. So I think I could do a few days of then just to help here. And keep up with the workouts too.
Today was chilly here in Colorado. As a matter of fact there is a freeze warning in effect or there was. I think it expired at 5 am. So as I was bundled on my recliner watching a movie with my nephew tonight, my kitty decided she was cold too. Or maybe she was just hiding. So I leave you with a picture of Frost on this frosty Colorado morning. She was dozing under the blanket with me :)
PS. I think I will get some reading of our blogs in! Since I'm up! ;-)

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Reboot..Day 2...

If I was a computer, a reboot would simply take a matter of minutes. Holding down a power button for 7 seconds, the computer turns off, pressing that same button again turns the computer back on and within a couple of minutes, the computer is working again. Technically I guess this is a cold reboot.

I think that's what's happening here with me. I have began a cold reboot. I am shutting down system to clear the glitches and start a new. I think I am going to have to shut down the system a few times to get it right.

Today was better. Not perfect, and not exactly what I am striving for, but better. Naturally I know that perfect is impossible. And I am totally fine with that. Forward progress is what I want. And Today was better. OK I've said that 3 times now :)

What was better about today?

I got up and I worked out pretty good today! I ran on my treadmill for 30 minutes. Well I ran 20 walked 10 for a total of 1.74 miles! 1.25 miles was jogging. I was pretty excited about being able to do this since I haven't really ran in about 2 months. I have been working at it slowly over the last 2 weeks.
And then I did some strength training with my resistance bands. I have a set of like 5 exercises I do and I do 3 reps of 10. I like the resistance bands, I can keep them in a drawer and I don't have any weights to worry about. I have 4 bands and they all range in resistance. I burned a good amount of calories.
That helped produce my sweaty look.....ewwwww.... LOL
After that I took Oryan for a walk. We have been going everyday after I work out. He absolutely loves it! And he gets really excited to go. So by 9:30 this morning my fitbit said I had almost 6K steps! Looks like I am going to finish the day out with about 9K.
So what struggles did I have today? I totally forgot to log my food and I couldn't stay away from the sugar. I had 2 swiss rolls and 3 cookies ....blah..... Tomorrow will be better.
I was happier with my scale this morning. And I got a good amount of water in today. About 96oz. Only 24oz short of my daily goal.
Tomorrow we work on no sugar, or at least much less, logging my food, and getting 120oz if water in.
Gotta get back in the routine! Tomorrow is a Wii Zumba, elliptical day. Supposed to be chilly and rainy. Hopefully it will be dry enough to take Oryan for a walk.
My nephew is coming down to spend the weekend with us. Hopefully we will have nice weather so he can see some of his friends this weekend.
OK Signing off. Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! YAY!!! Have a great night everyone!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Lost but not forgotten....Trying to reboot...

Well hello my blogger friends!

I know I have been gone for a while. It's been 2 1/2 weeks since I've blogged. Horrible of me....
What have I been up to?!?! It's been a rough couple of weeks.

Thankfully I was not personally affected by the flooding here in Colorado aside from some traffic jams. But the house survived. We did get some heavy, heavy rain and we got caught in the hail while out on our motorcycles on the 14th. That made for an interesting ride for sure. They did get hit pretty bad up in Boulder/Longmont areas. Our thoughts have been with them.
The mall got flooded though...
I was able to start working out again last week. I have been doing my weigh ins and I am totally discouraged. So here they are:
9/9/13 Weigh in: up .2 from previous week
Then the next week...
9/16/13 weigh in: up .8 lbs from previous week..
and now for this week...This is SO bad...
up 2.2 lbs from last week. UGH...Yes headed in the wrong direction...
So I have gained 3 lbs in the last 2.5 weeks.
I am totally discouraged. I am 3 weeks away from my 1 year bandiversary and I haven't even lost 75 lbs yet....
These last few weeks have been so stressful. I have been totally eating my emotions away. We had employee issues that has turned into a complete mess....Hopefully we can get that fixed with minimal damage. But that is just work stress....That isn't what has really been bothering me.
I try not to vent much on my blog, mainly because I want it to be a positive thing for everyone to read. I have vented a few times, but I find that blogging about it really kind of helps me send it out to the cosmic void.
I'm hurting, that's as plain as I can say it. Why? My mother told me that I am a disappointment to her AGAIN! This should not be anything new. She has done this to me so many times it should be like riding a bike to get past this. Why am I a disappointment? Because I haven't seen my nephew much since he moved from my house to his fathers. This is a bit out of my control. I was recovering for 6 weeks, prior to that I was so busy working there was no way I could have had him here, and once I was recovered he was back in school. So, its a time thing. But, naturally, the fact that the courts awarded sole custody to his father and not to me must be my fault entirely. I know. I'm disappointing.
I sent my mom the Happy Birthday song via text message to her on Sunday. It was her birthday so I thought it would be nice. That's more then I got from her on my birthday last Wednesday, but whose keeping tabs. Well she decided to tell me how angry and disappointed she is in me because of everything. I should know better then to try to please this woman. It comes back to bite me every time.
So what's next for me? I have to distance myself. This time, for good. I know I have to do this. I have been told by so many people including mental health professionals. This is so hard for me. My friend says child birth is hard this is just life.
It's sad because I've always wanted a mother. One that didn't look at me like she despised me because I was the spawn of satan. She hates, literally, she has said she hates my natural father. She thinks he is the biggest waste of space there is. I don't necessarily disagree, but it isn't my fault he is that way. But she has always looked at me differently and I am sure it is impart because I am his daughter.
She has always favored by sister. My drug addict sister. The one that abandoned her child to be cared for by me. I turned my family completely upside down, to the point where my oldest acted out negatively and both of them did everything they could do to not be home. I even completely lost it like 5 times over the last 2 years, to the point where I packed a bag and walked out just to get away from everything and everyone. I was never gone for long, but none the less, I wanted to run. For 2 years I got yelled at and cried at because my mother distraught. She never asked how my kids, my family, or our lives were affected. She called me her rock and told me I was the only one she could lean on. And honestly, I didn't want that role. Selfish of me? Maybe. But after all the crap she put me through, from physically beating me as a child to emotionally beating me as an adult, I am done. Or at least I need to be.
I wish I could figure out why this is so hard. I can usually write family out of my life easily. I have had to do it so much throughout the years. Usually it's them leaving, not me. Boy how horrible does that sound.
Anyway, enough of that! My eating has kind of sucked. I have been eating lots of sweets. Ice cream mostly. We have had a lot of birthdays to celebrate this last week. Including the hubby's.
My birthday was eh...ok....Just another day. One of my dear friends surprised me with a gift. I totally didn't expect anything. But she knows how crazy I am about Supernatural and she got me a bunch of stuff. Including two t-shirts. They are rather tight, but, with some more work I think they will fit perfectly in a few months. I have never been one for clingy clothes. But I so want to get into these t-shirts! :) Still look better then I did a 11 months ago.
Luckily the ice cream and cake is all gone now. SO....Time to reboot!
I have been working out over the last week and a half. Biking, running, ellipticalling, wii zumbaing and strengthening. I am not seeing any results but I am still doing it.  This was yesterdays workout.

Hopefully I will start seeing results soon. I am discouraged beyond belief right now but determined not to give up. I must get through these hard times too. And even if I have to do it alone, I have to do it.
I am going to start logging my food again regularly, and working really hard to get off the sweets. I want to start blogging regularly again and reading your blogs regularly too. I have to get past this bump. I know I can....But I feel a little lost. Hopefully I will find my way soon.
I had an unfill a few weeks ago, and I am going back in for a fill in 2 weeks along with my 1 year check up.
So here we go. Time to ride the wave, again... Have a great night and thanks for reading and listening to me ramble.
 Until we meet again :)

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Band Abuse.....& Last Mad Monday weigh in....

Hey all! How's it going? Things here are going ok. I know I know, its been 1 1/2 weeks since I blogged. I am like seriously dropping the ball all the way around!

OK Let's start with this past weeks weigh in....not good. But I knew it wouldn't be. And the results are 208.6. Up .8 from the 26th of August....
So my totals are:
66.2.0 lbs down since 8/22/12!
51.6lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!
I'll be damned I am going the wrong way....So I have gained .8 lbs since surgery on July 31st. I guess that's not horrible.
What's happened over the last week and a half. Lets see, I had an unfill. I was so tight I was getting stuck on virtually everything. So I opted to go in and have an unfill. They took out .4 cc's. YIKES!! That's a lot! So now I have 6.9 cc's in my 10 cc band. I have been really struggling with this whole green zone thing. It's just not clicking with me or something. I have also really been struggling with the 208 weight range. I thought I had it beat right before surgery and now I am back where I started. Super discouraged right now!!
I went and saw the doctor a few days ago. The good news is I am healing up nicely he said. He also said I am released back to almost totally full exercise. No sit-ups, crunches or anything that will work my abdominal muscles heavily but I can run, elliptical, use my resistance bands, etc. & no exercise ball work.
Great I can get started moving again! The bad news....I got sick this past Tuesday and I feel like death warmed over....I had a sore throat for 3 days and now my head is so stuffed up I can't stand it. And since I can't breathe I am not working out.
I am hoping I feel significantly better by Monday. I would really like to start doing something. I am so out of practice and I feel so lazy.
Onto my band abuse...Yes I have been totally blowing it. I have been eating and over eating at that. I don't know what the hell is going on with me. I feel like I have been eating a ton. I have even been stuck a few times at my current fill level. And I don't ever feel hungry. So I am either eating way to much or my band is still overfull. I am going with the eating way to much thing. I am even eating when I am not hungry. And I know it too. But I am doing it anyway. BAD BAD BAD Chris!!!
Hopefully I can get back in the correct mind frame and start working out again once I feel better. I really need to not give up. I can break this plateau and start loosing and eating better again.
Our business is struggling too. Bad! I keep hearing everyone say the economy is doing better but let me tell you, we sure as hell can't tell....I am worried about finances, and our house, and everything else I can possibly think of. Do I feel stressed, no not really, but I think I am. And I think I am stress eating, kind of. Can you stress eat if you are aware of the fact that you are eating too much? So I am going to be physically working at the business here in the next couple of weeks. Gotta get some stuff moving!
Volleyball started back up for the girls. It is in full swing. We had the first tournament last Friday and then 2 games this past week. The team is looking pretty good. My girls are in the video below. #4 and #12. Same team this year! It will make it easy to watch them both.
OK my blog friends. I am done for today. Stuffed up and tired. So, have a great evening! Hopefully tomorrow I will blog again and get back to reading what is happening in your world. I really miss you all.