Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve Mad Monday weigh in....

Looking back over the last 12 months it seems 2012 was not so great.

I have been angry (OVER THE TOP)!
I have been stressed (TOO MUCH)!
I have been sad (A LOT)!
I have been lonely (OFTEN)!

BUT, I have a new appreciation for my small family of 4. I look at the smiles on the faces of my girls and those smiles have new meanings.

I turned 40 this year. Age ain't nothing but a thing. But, I've learned a lot this year. One of the most important lessons I've learned and the most challenging to overcome? Unlearn that which has caused the most negative over the last 40 years. And I am talking about this in more ways then just the weight aspect.

The second most important lesson I've re-learned (I learned this long ago but forgot sometime in 2012)? Surrounding myself with positive people and positive energy changes my outlook on life and makes me want to be better!

I have learned to love differently.
I have learned that loving me is not selfish.
I have learned that no matter how hard I try, I cannot fix everything.
I have learned that smelling the roses along the way, slows things down just enough to put things in perspective.

I have made some major life changing decisions, one of which includes having lap band surgery. I have lost 39.8 lbs prior to today, my clothes are baggier, and I feel much better.

I wasn't expecting big results at this weeks weigh in....but.... today's weight.... 234.0!! Down 1 lb since Christmas Eve a week ago! Totally UNEXPECTED!!

So here are my totals:
40.8 lbs down since 8/22/12!
26.2 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

So tonight what will I toast to??
To lessons learned and the unknown!
May 2013 bring what it will bring.
May I be wise enough find happiness
and peace it whatever the future holds
and offer forgiveness.

I hope your New Year is filled with happiness and peace, hope and forgiveness, and love and family!

May you look forward to the unknown.

Be safe and enjoy the celebration as we ring in the New Year!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

A New Year's Resolution!

As always I have the same resolution this year as I have over the last 3 years.

My New Year's resolution?!?! Not to make any New Year's resolutions.

I started this several years ago for one reason. Less Stress...... I was so worried about the promises I made to myself at the beginning of the year, I would feel guilty and angry about not reaching any of them throughout the year that I was just way to stressed. So, no resolutions = less stress for me. Cop-out?!?! Nope. No more excuse after excuse.

What do I vow?

I vow to take one day at a time, hour by hour if needed, address successes when they happen and failures that way too. Make changes on a daily basis and "don't fix what ain't broke!" If it's working let it work.

Weigh-in tomorrow. Not looking so forward to it, but it will be what it will be and we will go from there.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Holiday Sweets....

ARGHHH..... There are so many sweets around the house. And it is not even the sweets that I made last week. These are the new pies and cookies that my mom sent back with us for the kids and the hubby.

Yes I have been picking at these for the last few days. I don't think there has been a weight gain this week but I am definitely not expecting a loss at my Monday weigh in. How do I get it to stop!?! I feel like all my will power has gone straight out the window! And I was doing so well....

I was even thinking that maybe I was in the "green zone" with my fills but I feel like I am getting hungrier and could eat more. Is this normal? A few weeks after my fills I seem to feel hungry. I defiantly don't feel like I have the restriction I did right after I was filled.

I think I might be freaking about my calorie intake too. Maybe I am becoming obsessed? I seem to be eating between 1100 - 1500 calories a day. And the major reason for the increase has been sweets. I know I need to stop. UGH. The holiday season is horrid.

I seem to do pretty well during the day, its the nights that get me.

OK So tomorrow I will get up and go swimming. I need to keep telling myself to stay away from the sweets. I really need to get back on track.

Have a great night!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Now that the food comas have past....

Thankfully I did pretty well over Christmas. I was concerned because I felt like I ate WAY too much but when I weighed myself Wednesday morning I weighted the same as I did at my Monday weigh in. I often feel like i eat way too much.

I feel like I am still having a hard time identifying when I feel full. I have read many people have soft signals but I haven't been able to identify any....I don't think...Tonight I stopped eating when It felt like there was too much going down my throat. I was afraid I would have a "stuck" episode. This is probably a bad thing right?

So tonight after dinner I felt really full. It took about 30 minutes for that feeling to go away. I wasn't miserable or uncomfortable, but I don't understand why I even got to that point.

Any suggestions?

Thanks for all your help!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Mad Monday Weigh-in......

Merry Christmas Eve!! Today we bake some more :)

I have been reading everyone's blog and the early Christmas presents they have received. How exciting!

Well for me....I had set a personal goal I was hoping to reach by the end of the year. I wanted to get down to 235 by then. I was super sceptical on my weight loss this week because I had to cancel 2 of my swimming appointments and really haven't done much of anything else beside holiday preparation.

Low and behold when I stepped on the scale this morning, what to my wondering eyes should appear...No not a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer...but the scale read 235.0!!! Down 2.2 lbs from last week!!

So here are my totals:
39.8 lbs down since 8/22/12!
25.2 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

Now to maintain through the New Year with all the food that will be around this week. I am totally loving the lifestyle changes I have chosen to make! I might give my scale a New Year's smooch! We are developing a great relationship!

Tonight we have Chicken Parmesan and pasta for dinner and in keeping with our family traditions, the girls each get to open one present from under the tree!
I haven't always liked the holidays. I have always kind of dreaded them. Especially Christmas....But this year seems different. I am enjoying things....and enjoying watching my girls grow and having a great time with them. I feel full...I feel complete...for the first time in as long as I can remember.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May your home be filled with laughter and love this holiday season.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Holiday Traditions....

Growing up with an Italian family there were lots of holiday traditions. I remember the 20 foot table that was always set up for our family dinner. There had to have been 40 people celebrating the holidays together. There was always a seperate table for us kids and one of the tables was filled with food and desserts. Everything was made from scratch!

I like traditions. We have always made some kind of homemade pasta and every Christmas we would always start with Cappellettis. This year is no different. So In honor of the season the girls and I made pasta!


And hopefully these traditions will carry on with my kids. Quality time with my babies & good homemade pasta!! Tomorrow we will make some more cookies And enjoy Chicken Parmesan for Christmas Eve Dinner.
What family traditions are important to you?
Enjoy your family!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

In full swing...

"The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon will be there."
The holidays are in full swing at our house. Cooking, baking, shopping, repeat.
I canceled swimming 2 days this last week and felt so guilty. But this morning I went swimming before the shopping started and did pretty well. Then out to the stores we went, YIKES!! So many people.
That's OK. I think we got most of it finished. Didn't eat great today since we were out and about all day. Tired but accomplished for today!
What does tomorrow bring? Baking and cooking for Christmas and wrapping and wrapping and wrapping!! So glad I don't have to go back to work til Wednesday!
"After all, Santa Claus is coming to town!"
Have a fabulous evening!!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

SHHHHH I played hooky today!!

And baked all day!

With all the happenings with my company being sold and the inevitable layoff headed my way a few months from now, I just wasn't feeling that "Let's go to work and give 110% today!". So I didn't, I played sick and baked all day.

I found out yesterday that my 2 bosses both already have new jobs and will be gone shortly after the new year. So that means more work is headed my way since I plan on staying until the very end. Unless of course something better comes up!

Bad thing about baking all day, is tasting all of the finished products and forgetting to drink my water because I was busy all day long. Also forgot to take my vitamins and basically forgot to actually eat. I had a shake this morning and green chili with a tortilla for dinner but that was about it.

Anyway, totally bad for the waistline but something I have been doing every year for the holidays is baking some italian goodies.

This is how my day started...Nice and clean!
And it ended up like this....

And the results of this mess!?!?!? Yummy!!! I am taking these all to work so they can be eaten there!
Almond Crescent Cookies!
Chocolate Chip Cookies & Lemon Almond Biscotti!
Cranberry Pistachio Biscotti!

Pizzelles & Canoli Shells!

Hopefully this will conclude my baking for the season! We have fondue planned for New Year's.

My goal for the next 10 days?!?!? Not to gain ANY weight over the holidays!

Happy Thursday! So glad tomorrow is Friday followed by 4 days off!


Monday, December 17, 2012

Another Mad Monday Weight In!

This seems so unreal to me. I know this will slow down and when it does I hope I'm not totally bummed out.

The results are in.....(Drum roll please....) 237.2!!! Lose of 3.4 lbs since last Monday!

I even took a picture to prove it :-)

So here are my totals:
37.6 lbs down since 8/22/12!
23.0 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

It must seem odd that I am tracking 2 dates above, but let me explain why. Both of these dates were life changing for me.

 I was forced to quit smoking back in April in order to have surgery. I don't know if it was a requirement of my insurance or a requiremet of my doctor but I think it was a doctor's requirement. I quit smoking on Friday, April 13th 2012. Last Thursday was my 8 month quit anniversary. Well, when I quit smoking I weighed 257.6. I knew quitting was going to make me gain weight but I really let myself go and gained 17.2 lbs, now 274.8, by August 22nd 2012. My highest weight EVER!! This was a depressing but eye opening reality. There was one person on this planet that could make a change and it was me and only me. So I could continue down the destructive path I was on and keep making excuses or I could take this tool I was having surgery to install and actually run with it. So on 8/22/12 I signed up at Swim Labs and committed to swimming 30 minutes a day Monday - Friday. I have to make appointments to get in and I hate breaking appointments so this was going to keep me accountable.

So, this is why I track both of these dates. They are important milestones for me.

Honestly, I don't know if I picked the worst time in life to do all this or the best. Life has been more than challenging over the last 18 months than I can remember and it seems like bad things just keep happening and adding more stress.

But, I am determined to overcome! And I will do it by reading your blogs and finding strength and inspiration in them.

Thank you for helping me succeed along the way. Your journeys and honesty help us so very much! It truely does help to know there are people out there struggling with similar issues.

Have a great week!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Repost from Drazil:

For the Sandy Hook angels....


On Tuesday, December 18th, there will be a blogger day of silence. We will post the button and that's it. Please try to not post anything else that day if possible.

We are also raising money that will go to an organization in the memory of this tragedy. The organization is called The Newtown Family Youth and Family Services.

Here is the official description of the support service we are donating to:

"Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic
and youth services bureau dedicated to helping children and families achieve their
highest potential. NYFS provides programs, services, activities, counseling, support
groups and education throughout the Greater Newtown area.


Please visit THIS PAGE to make your donation.

We can't imagine how they must be feeling, especially this close to the holidays. We would love for you to spread the word on your own blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Let's make a difference and use blogging in a positive way.

Thank you in advance for participating.


The Blog World

p.s. If you would like to, copy-paste and repost any part of this, please do. Share on.

Friday, December 14, 2012


I have nothing today. The news from Connecticut is devastating. As a nation we have been through so much. Todays tragic events are horrifyingly disgusting. These poor families. There is nothing I can say....

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Second Fill Today!

Another 1.25 cc's was added to my 10 cc band today making my total fill level 5.75. I got a lot of questions answered today and had a good converstaion with the nurse practitioner.

One of the questions she asked me was if I felt restriction last time I had a fill. And my answer was "You know, what exactly should that feel like?!?!" Well after my fill today I think I may have figured it out. I had a 12 oz Chai Tea today and I was SO full afterwards. I am going to keep close tabs on this over the next few days and see if I can really tell a difference. At 5.75 cc's I would imagine I will be noticing something soon.

Today's weight on the doctor's scale was 243. Not liking that number. My scale says about 3 lbs less. But I was fully dressed and it was the middle of the day when I went. My doctor doesn't offer morning appointments. This was a strange bit of information I found out today.

Anyway, work tomorrow! Have a great Thursday!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

And the results are in!

240.6....loss of 1.2 lbs this week!! Not great but I will take it. I did a lot of not so great eating this last week so I am pretty happy with that. I am so ready to hit that 20 lbs mark since surgery!

34.2 lbs down since 8/22/12
24.8 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet on 10/12/12
19.6 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

Tonights dinner - 1 Cup Healthy Choice Chicken Tortilla Soup w/ 1/4 cup Stinkin Good Green Chili, 2 tbsp. Fat Free Sour Cream & 5 baked Wonton Wrappers.

290 Calories
2.5 grams Fat
15.75 grams of protien

I also burned 301 calories swimming "on the zone" for 38 minutes today!
My mini goal is to be down 20 lbs by Wednesday 12/12/12. That is my 2 month appointment and my second fill. I so want to break that 240 mark!
Have a great evening! and Thanks for reading!


Sunday, December 9, 2012

Party On!!

Last night was my companies last ever Christmas party. Everyone had a great time! I did really well with dinner but enjoyed several empty calorie drinks and dancing. It is sad to think it's the last party we will all get together for after 7 years, but we did have a great time with some totally great people!!
My outfit consisted of clothes that were the size I would typically wear but they were a little baggier than normal. I'm ok with that. Here's a couple pictures from last night!

Tonight the family is going to the Botanical Gardens for pretty lights, Ice Skating, and Hot Coco (Hopefully they will have sugar free)! I haven't ice skated in probably 25+ years. We will see how brave I am tonight.
Weigh in day tomorrow!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

What I have learned about...

Technology: A few weeks ago I purchased a Polar FT4 heart rate monitor. The main reason for my purchase was so I could better keep track of my calorie burn while I was in the pool. The first 2 weeks that I had the monitor it worked great! No issues at all. This week however, it is being flaky. Sometimes it shows 00 for a heart rate, sometimes it shows 50 and sometimes it's where it should be. So after researching further on the internet I have learned that cleaning the sensors on the chest strap and tightening the chest strap as tight as I can stand it seems to help. And the chest strap is tight let me tell you. Today it worked much better. Thank goodness because Monday and Tuesday I was totally distracted by the fact that it was not working and my workouts were horid.

Technology II: The waterproof case that I purchased to house my Ipod shuffle while I swim worked pretty good. The only complaint that I have is that the ear phones have to be messed with a bit throughout my swimming. So I think I will change the ear peices and see if I can find a better fit. It came with like 10 different ear peices. From what I have read, if you can tuck the ear peices under the swim cap it will help but mine creeps up my head while I swim, All in all, my shuffle stayed 100% dry. The sound quality was good and it did help me pick up the pace in the water. It is not the prettiest thing in the world but it serves its purpose and helped make my 30 minutes in the pool more fun! Here is what it looks like...

Myself: For some reason this week started off tough. I was very distracted by my troublesome technology, I was tired when I was swimming, and my knees hurt even when kicking in the pool. This is not normal! I feel more stressed out than usual and it's holiday time. So.... What can I do? I thought pushing the work outs up a notch would help but I'm not feeling it. Today was totally different I felt great in the water, maybe it's because with the music I couldn't think about life. I guess we will see how things go moving forward.

Happy Hump Day Evening! Tootles!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Mad Monday Weigh in....

My scale and I are really developing a positive relationship. I never thought I would enjoy watching the scale so much.

So the results are in and ..... 241.8....loss of 2.2 lbs this week!!

33.0 lbs down since 8/22/12
23.6 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet
18.4 lbs down since surgery!

I am not sure which date to keep track of so I'm giving all 3. I guess it makes me feel better! :)

Happy Monday!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

This weekend was.....

Interesting. This post might be a little "all over the place". Fair warning! :)

After finding out last Monday that I am getting laid off in March and feeling kind of lost all week I feel like the weekend was kind of productive.

Saturday I did not do much. We ran a few errands and I did not work out. For some reason I feel this need for a day of rest. But then I always end up over eating. My hubby and I went out to dinner to discuss the furture. I finished the day below 1200 calories but I felt quilty for eating so much. My typical day is between 700 and 900 calories. I am not sure what I am supposed to be taking in, when I had my initial appointment back in April they told me I should be eating between 1250 & 1450. This seems like a lot. So I will stick with the 700 - 900 for now. I am getting in a lot of protien and my weight is going down so why fix it if it isn't broken.

Anyway, besides my over eating,  we did come up with a plan for when I am laid off and I feel better now. This made Sunday seem a bit less stressful. I am going to work on getting a few things in order over the next few months, but mainly I am working to get through the holidays right now. I have never been excited for the holidays.

Sunday we went for a 2 mile walk. According to my HRM I burned 340 calories and I consumed a total of 824 calories. For the most part I made good food choices. Had a bit of a sweet tooth today though. Kind of ruined that with the tablespoon of Nestle's Chocolate Chip cookie dough I had tonight.

I purchased a waterproof thingy to hold an ipod shuffle so I can swim and listen to music so I think this will help me to pick up the pace in the pool. Walking this morning got me going when some Bruce Springsteen came through my ear phones! I was cookin'!! Even my husband had trouble keeping up! (I use to have issues keeping up with him 8 months ago.)

Tomorrow is weigh in day. I am kind of excited to see where the scale is at. I know it went in the right direction since I weigh myself a gazillion times a day, but tomorrow will be the true 7 day number.

Have a fabulous evening!

Friday, November 30, 2012

My first NSV!!

Yesterday I experienced my first Non-Scale Victory (NSV)!! This blouse used to be so tight it was uncomfortable. It was too tight in the arms and the waist was totally at the max stretch wise. When I wore the blouse yesterday, I had room in the arms and there was a good amount of stretch in the waist. YAY ME!! Starting to get more and more compliments saying I'm shrinking too!

Kind of excited to weigh in on Monday. Never thought I would be saying that!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Wonton wrappers rock!!

Originally I was using wonton wrappers to make mini pizzas. There is only 80 calories in 4 wrappers and they crisp up so nice. It's like an ultra thin pizza crust. I think I originally saw this on The world according to Eggface's website.

So tonight we made burritos. I was not planning on having a tortilla so I had salad with it instead. I toasted some wonton wrappers in the toaster oven for about 3 minutes and then crushed them into my salad. It was like eating a taco salad and it was great! And my salad was only 274 calories total!

I so love these litte wonton wrappers. What else can I think of to do with them?!?!?

Luckily despite recent developments in my world I have been able to control my stress eating. On Monday I found out that the company I work for is being sold. And even worse then that we are all losing our jobs. I have been with this company for almost 7 years. And I have really enjoyed the friendships I have built. March 1st will be our last day. So the count down begins.

There are about 250 people that will be laid off. I have never been laid off before. I don't know exactly what the future holds for me at this point. I have been in this line of work for 17 years and I don't know if it's a midlife crisis or what but I don't want to stay in this line of work. So....I need to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Thank goodness for hump day! That means we are 1/2 way there!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

It almost happened again...

OK so the last few days have been super stressful. Apparently it has made me so tired I forgot to chew totally tonight. I had a close call. Almost had a "Stuck"episode again. Luckily I was able to avoid it and it was not super painful.

So...lesson for tonight....Don't forget to CHEW, CHEW, CHEW!!!

Dispite the stress I have not been over eating. This is a good thing!

Monday, November 26, 2012

Monday Weigh In...

And the results are in....

Current weight: 244 flat! Loss of .8 lbs. since last Monday. I'll take it and put a check in the win column.

30.8 lbs down since 8/22/12
21.4 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet
16.2 lbs down since surgery!

Ok so not quite a pound. Probably had something to do with all the crap I had this weekend. Lesson learned. Of course I have to test the boundries.

However, I am very excited that I did NOT gain any weight! This is the first holiday like ever where I did not put on 5 lbs just from dinner. This was a great accomplishement to me!

Today was so stressful. More so then has been in like 5 months, the good news is, I didn't turn to the fridge to make myself feel better.

I was also 32oz short on my water intake and forgot to take most of my vitamins......Ugh....I need to get back on track....

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Today was SO much better!!

Ah.... I feel so much better today. All my naughtiness over the last few days did not make me gain any weight. Whew! Tomorrow is weigh in day so I will post an official weight in the morning.

I did Zumba Fitness on the Wii this morning followed by EA Active and my HRM said I burned 446 calories! I felt great after working out too!

We put the Christmas tree up today and decorated the house too! I can't believe it's already that time of year...
Have a fabulous evening!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Troublesome weekend....

I started out really great and I then lost it.

Thanksgiving was pretty good. I walked 2 miles & I didn't over eat. And I only sampled the deserts. Friday was our anniversary and I did ok. We went to the Melting Pot for dinner. I did have some of the chocolate Fondue. But I didnt overeat. Saturday started out well. I swam early afternoon. But I Had a McFlurry when I was out with my daughter tonight.

Not good. I feel so guilty and I do not expect good results for Monday's weigh in.

I need to get back on track starting now.

I hate days like this....

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Turkey was in the oven by 8:40 AM.

Went for a 2 mile walk today! Might do EA Active tonight (after the food coma)....Which I am going to avoid!

But seriously. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!!

And thanks for all you do!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I will avoid the food coma tomorrow!!

I have made a decision! Tomorrow I will avoid the food coma!

I am determined! And I don't want to get sick! The whole PB thing scares me. Especially after my experience last week! I am still working on what my "Full Level" feels like to me, I think tonight I went a little past it. I am not uncomfortable but I could be less full and I would be fine. Tomorrow I will pay extra special attention!

Yes I am cooking a ton of food for the amount of people that are coming over. We are going to have lots of yummy left overs.

I am going to work out with my EA Active in the morning after the turkey is in the oven as well.

So I have been swimming with my heart monitor the last few days and today was the most exciting.
I swam for a total of 33.4 minutes and the calorie burn was so cool to see!! First round was this...
 Naturally being at 286 calories wasn't quite good enough. Such an odd number. SO..... all I needed was this....

2 more minutes gave me 17 more calories! So 303 calories for basically swimming hard for 33.4 minutes. I feel accompished today! I think thats pretty darn good!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Felt way more hungry today...

Boy today I felt like I could have eaten a ton more food than I did. I was able to control myself by staying busy. Although I did have a 1/2 cup of dry cereal tonight.

I finished the day at 661.5 calories and 70.33 grams of protien. I know I need to get more calories in. Sometimes I do have a hard time with that. I went swimming tonight too. Maybe thats why I was so hungry tonight.

So if this keeps up I definately will need more fill next month. I am scheduled for mid December. I am going to use will power until then and keep exercising.

Tootles all!

Monday, November 19, 2012

What did I eat today.....

Yes I cheated...
We had our monthly Birthday Celebration at work today and I had a brownie sundae. I had about 1 tbsp each of the 3 flavors of ice cream and a brownie bite. Came home and calculated the calories and WOW!!! 300 calories in the tiny little bit!

I keep track of protien, sugar, fat and calories on a spreadsheet like this.... gives me a good idea. I usually float around 900 calories a day.

I had a mini cupcake yesterday too....

Monday Weigh in

This is too exciting for me! Here we go....

Today's weigh in is .......244.8 lbs! Down 3.2 lbs since last Monday! Rock on!

30.0 lbs down since 8/22/12
20.6 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet
15.4 lbs down since surgery!

Yes! I weigh myself twice a day (sometimes 3 times a day)...I know it's horrible....

Hello, my name is Chris and I am a Scale Whore :)

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Today's VIP (Very Important Purchase) :)

So I have been really wanting to find a way to track the calories I am burning during my workouts. I have used My Fitness Pal, I have a fit bit that I wear and I've tried tracking the activities on that website too. I have also wanted to find a way to track my calories burned while I am swimming. Since I do a lot of that and it is my main work-day exercise. So upon doing some reseach I found that the best way to track calories burned is to use a heart monitor. OK Cool. I can do that. I found a decent one at Big 5 for only $80. And on the upside! It's water resistant to 30 meters! This should totally work.

I tested it out today while I did my Wii Fit Yoga & EA Active today. It was so exciting for me to see these results. TOTALLY made me feel like I am accomplishing something great!
Check me out!

Now if only I can remember to stretch AFTER I work out like my darling friend told me too :)

Have a fabulous Sunday evening!!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Second post today but it's been a month!

Progress comes in all forms. This is exciting for me as I feel like something is finally headed in the right direction. This time line makes me feel that I have made positive changes!

April 6th - Started pre-Lapband Journey - Talked to the doctor about the possibility of surgery. Signed up, found out about the insurance requirements, found out I had to quit smoking... I weighed 257.6
April 10th - Attended my first nutrition class because it was required by my insurance
April 13th - Quit smoking. What better day then Friday the 13th?!?!
May 8th - Attended second nutrition class - gained 4 lbs....totally not motivated to lose weight - Weighed in at 261.6
May 16th - test to prove I quit smoking. Vist my PCP
June 12th - Attend 3rd nutrition class - gained 6 lbs - Weighed in at 267.6
July 10th - Attend 4th nutrition class - gained 2.4 lbs - Weighed in at 270
July 23rd - test to prove I quit smoking.
August 7th - Attend 5th nutrition class - scheduled surgery for 10/15/12 - gained 3.6 more lbs - Weighed in at 273.6
August 18th - Visit with PCP about required insurance paperwork - gained 1.2 lbs - Weighed in at 274.8
August 22nd - Decided I was never going to change anything, band or not, unless I was going to start making changes now - Signed up to swim 30 minutes Monday - Friday!
September 11th - Attended 6th nutrition class - scheduled preop and final nutrition class for 10/10/12. Was swimming daily Mon - Friday. Weighed in at 271.2 - lost 3.6 pounds :)
October 10th - Final nutrition class and preop. Weighed in at 265.4 - Lost 5.8 pounds

Total weigh loss prior to surgery prep - 9.4 pounds! Slow start but it was a start

October 12th - Begin 3 day clear liquid diet - I so hate broth of all kinds!!
October 15th - Day of surgery - Weigh in at 260.2 - loss of 5.2 lbs. - total loss of 14.6 pounds!

October 22st - 1 week Post-op - Weight loss of 6.2 lbs - weigh in at 254! Total loss of 20.8 lbs!
October 29th - 2 weeks Post-op - Weight loss of 4 lbs - weigh in at 250! Total loss of 24.8 lbs!
November 5th - 3 weeks Post-op - Weight loss of 0 lbs - weigh in at 250! total loss of 24.8 lbs! No worries...
November 12th - 4 weeks Post-op - Weight loss of 2 lbs - weigh in at 248! total loss of 26.8 lbs! TIPPED THE SCALE PAST 250!!! Major victory for me!!

In short - 26.8 lbs down since 8/22/12
17.4 lbs down since I began the 3 day clear liquid diet
12.2 lbs down since surgery!

Totally SIKED!!

So much better today!!

So after my experience yesterday with a small peice of bread I was very well behaved today!

I started the day with a protien shake, blended broccoli cheese soup and applesauce for lunch and Cream of Wheat for dinner. I found these awesome ramakins at Ross. They hold a nice 3/4 cup.
I feel pretty good and do not have that "stuck" feeling. Thank goodness. I am currently working on getting my remaining 24 oz of water down today.
Swam for 30 minutes today and will do it again tomorrow. Tomorrow is Friday and I am so exicted for the week to be over. The weather is starting to get cold so I will be breaking out the Wii & EA Active this weekend. Have to keep at it!!
Weigh in day is Monday! Officially anyway. I have this horrible problem of weighing myself every morning. I really should stop but its so hard!!
Twilight with my daughter this weeeknd!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

I have been filled!!

And so it begins....

Today I was filled. I found out I do have a 10 cc band, and the doctor put 4.5 cc's in. I am not sure if I am supposed to feel anything but so far I don't. After the doctor filled my band he had me drink some water to make sure I could get it down.

I am on a liquid pureed diet today and tomorrow then 2 days of soft foods. I go back to a regular diet on Sunday.

I had some brocolli chedder soup for dinner tonight and thought I could get away with a small peice of bread if i chewed it real well. Yeah, horrible idea! I won't be doing that again! OUCH!!! OK Lesson learned! So I will stick with the pureed liquids tomorrow.

I have been able to eat everything to this point so I think my body misled me a bit. Time to get super serious!!

Happy Hump Day!!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

First Fill!!

Tomorrow is my first fill! I am excited about it. I have been noticing that I am getting hungry more often. This morning I had a protien shake and was hungry about 2 hours later. Then I had a salad for lunch and was hungry like 2 hours after that. Luckily I have found that if I just start pounding the water it will tide me over until I can get home and make dinner.

I came home and made mini pizza's on wonton wrappers. I was a little hesitant at first but boy they were good! I put ground chicken on 3 of them and had 2 with pepperoni as my protein and I ate about all of them. The wrapers are only 20 calories each. I saw a recipe for this somewhere, I think it was on the World According to Egg Face website.

Anyway, I will update after my fill tomorrow night. Liquid puree in the morning going to clear liquids 4 hours before my fill. Then liquid puree for 2 days and soft foods for 2 days. Back to regular foods on Monday! Just in time for Thanksgiving!!

Happy Hump Day tomorrow!!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Weigh in Day...

And the winner is..... 248 lbs! 2 lbs down from last week.

Yesterday (since I was so lazy on Saturday) I worked out twice as hard. Since it snowed here in Colorado on Saturday I decided to break out my EA Active for the Wii yesterday. I did a nice workout for about 1 1/2 hours. Got the heart going and got nice and sweaty (YUCK!). But I felt so much better after I did it! And I am so sore today! Guess that means I'd better keep it up!

For as much as I hate to exercise.... I love watching the scale go down!

Happy Monday!!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Temporary Setback

I guess everyone will face a challenge along the way. Last night my kids had a volleyball party to celebrate the end of the season and it was about dinner time and I did not have any "diet" food with me. So since I was starving, I had some pasta alfredo and penne with sauce. It was probably about a total of a cup. The Salad was the healthiest and the 1/2 of breadstick and the small desert I probably should have avoided.

Tonight I also had some egg noodles in my chili and I feel a little to full. Hopefully this won't have a huge adverse affect on the positive progress I've made so far.

It was so cold this morning I didnt walk either. And it is currently windy and snowing. Today was a complete lazy day. Yes, now I feel guilty!! I need to get that will power back. I'm just tired this weekend. My goal is to do twice and much exercise tomorrow. Treadmill, eliptical, and Wii Fit!

Weigh-in is on Monday. Hopefully my results will be positive.

Happy Saturday Night!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I feel great but a little sore around my port site...

Today was great! I find that I have more energy these days and I feel motivated to change. I have only lost 15 lbs so far but its only been 22 days since I had surgery.

I feel accomplished today too. I was able to stay away from the Halloween candy despite the many temptations around the office. I went swimming this afternoon and swam pretty hard for a solid 25 minutes. I would say moderate intensity. And went for a 1 mile walk after dinner with the hubby! I am seriously thinking of going to Zumba once a week. I have a friend that teaches the classes at a 24 hour fitness nearby. It sounds so fun. Lap Band Gal put this thought in my head!

Soft foods have been fun. Tonight I had a buffalo ground turkey burger. Nothing exotic, but it was tasty. Here are some of the foods I've had :) The first on is the Ground Turkey Buffalo Burger (With Franks Red Hot Buffalo Sauce) with la tablespoon of light ranch dressing, Cottage Cheese Oatmeal Pancakes, and a flourless crepe filled with applesauce flavored cottage cheese. I found these great small square plates at World Market along with the mini silverware! and they weren't outrageously priced!

My port site has been a little sore the last few days. I think I might have pulled something. Seems like there is a little swelling in that area too. Feels like something is pulling. I see the doctor in a week so I am holding out. It's not infected and my incisions are healing nicely. Hopefully this will go away soon.
Cheers! Tomorrow is Hump Day!!

Monday, November 5, 2012

Today's weekly weigh in....

OK so holding steady at 250 lbs. It's ok. I'm swimming and walking and am 1 1/2 weeks away from my first fill.

Friends are great support. Thanks for them!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

What to do when we are out and about?!?!?

OK So today was a little rough.

Had a protien shake for breakfast around 11:30 and then went for a 2 mile walk and I felt great afterwards. A great start!

Out to the stores with this kids. The last few day's it seems that I get hungry more often. I haven't had a fill yet. So I don't have any restriction. And I neglected to bring an extra protien shake with me to the mall. YIKES!! My tummy started growling around 3:30 and I didn't know what to do. So I broke down and had 3 pretzel bites just to take the edge off.

That held me until about 6:30. We went to Qdoba's because I could get some soft food there. I think I made fairly good decisions. I did the you pick 2 with Chicken tortilla soup and a naked burrito with only refried beans, chicken, cheese, pico, & quac and sour cream. Not to bad. I didnt eat it all. about 1/2. The halloween candy has been hard to stay away from the last couple of days. I've minimized the amount I've had only a few bite size peices. I need to stay focus.

This blog will help with that I think. It will help me stay accountable. Good or bad, I will list it here...

I know, I know, this stage is not about losing weight right now its about allowing my stomach to heal. 2 more weeks and I go in for my follow up appointment and a fill.

Friday, November 2, 2012

And we're off....

Well here I go. I have never blogged before so this is a great new experience on a great new journey. I am looking forward to it. For the first time in a long time, or maybe even the first time ever, I have decided to focus on me. Not on work, or my husband, or my 3 kids, but me.

I am 40 years old, and fall into the "Morbidly obese" catagory at 257 back in April 2012. I don't think this is anything new. I've been overweight my entire life. I often think about what has brought me to this point in my life. And I continually come back to the same reasoning. For once, I wanna talk about me. Well maybe not talk, but think about me. How selfish this seems. But, I have decided to get out of my comfort zone and focus on me.

It seems everyone around me tells me I don't need to change and they all love me just the way I am. However, I want to love me. I used to think "FAT" was my middle name in highschool but looking back I would take that body over the one I have now. So, after researching the Lap band for a year and a half, and yo-yo dieting for what seems like eternity I decided to take a huge leap and change.

I began the insurance rigamarole in April 2012. 6 months of nutrition classes, tests and PCP visits. Copays galore! AND!! My doctor made me quit smoking too. Smoking was always a vice that I enjoyed having. I was majorly bummed when the doctor said I HAD to quit. Reluctantly I went to my PCP and asked for another, (yes I had tried before only to start up again within 6 months. I contribute it to stress, I have lots of excuses to continue with bad habits.) perscription to Chantix. Totally worked to help me quit smoking with minimal side affects.

Anyway, I quit smoking on Friday, April 13th, 2012. I thought this was a totally appropriate day. Afterall, everyone says Friday the 13th is the day when bad luck strikes. What better a day to make positive changes! One of the reasons I never wanted to quit was because I knew I would gain weight. Oral fixations I guess. And yes I was right, I gained 17 lbs. OMG WTF!!!

I kept telling myself in all the nutrition classes that I would start eating better and exercising this month so I could drop some weight before surgery. I told myself that 5 times. Once in April, once in May, once in June, once in July and once in August. I really hate to exercise, everything hurts....but i knew I needed to get serious, surgery was 2 months away.

I don't really have a great support system at home. No matter how much I beg the kids and my husband to please leave the junk food outside they never do. So willpower is something I must be sure to keep close. But I do have some really great friends. And they are my true cheerleaders.

One of my friends told me one day, you need to find exercise you enjoy. I mean truely enjoy. This way it won't seem like a chore. I'd never thought of that. Actually doing something I enjoy everyday. So after some serious soul searching I did find an exercise I am passionate about. SWIMMING! I swam competitivly in highschool and although competitions are out, I can compete with myself. Now where to swim??? Gyms? No, too many people. Really dont want the Michelin Man showing up at the gym in a bathingsuit plus getting your own lane is nearly impossible unless you go at 5 AM. I am so not a morning person. So an endless pool! WOW! Those things cost a small fortune. One day I will have one in my basement but not today. However, I found a great place that uses them for swimming lessons but they also offer a montly membership just to go swim for 30 minutes! OK Awesome! I found something I love to do.

After my 17 lb weight gain I settled in at the highest weight I had ever been. 274.6 lbs. YIKES!! SO, in late August I started swimming, Monday - Friday for 30 minutes. It felt so great to be back in the water regularly!! And I have to pass the pool to get home from work so no more excuses! I started really watching what I ate and how much I ate. I started paying close attention to my "full level" and my hunger signs. I tend to eat just to eat so started only eating when my stomach would rumble. It as a slow process but I was able to lose 9 lbs before a started my clear liquid diet 3 days before being banded. It wasn't much for 7 weeks but it was a start. Just over 1 lb a week. I was happy with that.

I started my 3 day clear liquid diet on October 12th weighing in at 265 lbs. Surgery was Monday the 15th. I was so excited. It's amazing how much weight you can lose on clear liquids. I don't ever want to have broth ever again, but I lost 5 more lbs that weekend! So I was down a total of 15 lbs by my surgery date, I was only 3 lbs from my pre-quit smoking weight! I'll take it!

I weighed in at the hospital (dressed in sweats) at 261.4. Pretty close to my scale at home. I was excited to have surgery and anxious to get started! I was ready! I had to be at the hospital at 8:30 AM and surgery was scheduled for 11:30 AM. The doctor was running late so I actually went under the knife at 12:30 PM. I woke in recovery about 3:15 PM. I first woke asking for my brother. I was anxious to get home and comfy in my own house. They wanted me to get something down so I had some jello. And munched on ice chips. I was so not hungry! I was finally able to leave the hospital and was home by 6 PM.  I took the week off of work, glad I did too. I didn't think my belly would hurt but it did hurt to move alot. Not excrusiating but enough. The pain killers were super helpful. And being home was good practice for the pureed/liquid diet I had to maintain for the first 2 weeks.

I really was not hungry the first week. I stuck to protein shakes and non-chunky soups and lots of water. SIP SIP SIP. But I was getting 64 oz a day down! I was losing about 1 lb per day. OK Cool! I didn't do much that first week. Short easy walks. But I was up and I was moving. 2nd week I was moving more. Still losing about 1 lb a day and not really feeling hungry. I was back at work and getting along well. I was eating about twice a day. I have made it a habit to only feed myself when my tummy growls. This totally has been working for me!

3rd week I was able to start soft foods and that is where I currently am. At my 2 week weigh in on 10/29/12 I was at 250 lbs. 24lbs down since August and 15 lbs. down since I began the liquid diet before surgery. My goal is 149.5 lbs. Just to say I weigh less than 150. I am still swimming and my husband and I have began walking 1 - 2 miles every evening. I feel great and am looking forward a new life!

Thanks for listening to me rant! A friend of mine said to keep a journal and a food log. I am logging and now I am journaling!