And we're off....

Well here I go. I have never blogged before so this is a great new experience on a great new journey. I am looking forward to it. For the first time in a long time, or maybe even the first time ever, I have decided to focus on me. Not on work, or my husband, or my 3 kids, but me.

I am 40 years old, and fall into the "Morbidly obese" catagory at 257 back in April 2012. I don't think this is anything new. I've been overweight my entire life. I often think about what has brought me to this point in my life. And I continually come back to the same reasoning. For once, I wanna talk about me. Well maybe not talk, but think about me. How selfish this seems. But, I have decided to get out of my comfort zone and focus on me.

It seems everyone around me tells me I don't need to change and they all love me just the way I am. However, I want to love me. I used to think "FAT" was my middle name in highschool but looking back I would take that body over the one I have now. So, after researching the Lap band for a year and a half, and yo-yo dieting for what seems like eternity I decided to take a huge leap and change.

I began the insurance rigamarole in April 2012. 6 months of nutrition classes, tests and PCP visits. Copays galore! AND!! My doctor made me quit smoking too. Smoking was always a vice that I enjoyed having. I was majorly bummed when the doctor said I HAD to quit. Reluctantly I went to my PCP and asked for another, (yes I had tried before only to start up again within 6 months. I contribute it to stress, I have lots of excuses to continue with bad habits.) perscription to Chantix. Totally worked to help me quit smoking with minimal side affects.

Anyway, I quit smoking on Friday, April 13th, 2012. I thought this was a totally appropriate day. Afterall, everyone says Friday the 13th is the day when bad luck strikes. What better a day to make positive changes! One of the reasons I never wanted to quit was because I knew I would gain weight. Oral fixations I guess. And yes I was right, I gained 17 lbs. OMG WTF!!!

I kept telling myself in all the nutrition classes that I would start eating better and exercising this month so I could drop some weight before surgery. I told myself that 5 times. Once in April, once in May, once in June, once in July and once in August. I really hate to exercise, everything hurts....but i knew I needed to get serious, surgery was 2 months away.

I don't really have a great support system at home. No matter how much I beg the kids and my husband to please leave the junk food outside they never do. So willpower is something I must be sure to keep close. But I do have some really great friends. And they are my true cheerleaders.

One of my friends told me one day, you need to find exercise you enjoy. I mean truely enjoy. This way it won't seem like a chore. I'd never thought of that. Actually doing something I enjoy everyday. So after some serious soul searching I did find an exercise I am passionate about. SWIMMING! I swam competitivly in highschool and although competitions are out, I can compete with myself. Now where to swim??? Gyms? No, too many people. Really dont want the Michelin Man showing up at the gym in a bathingsuit plus getting your own lane is nearly impossible unless you go at 5 AM. I am so not a morning person. So an endless pool! WOW! Those things cost a small fortune. One day I will have one in my basement but not today. However, I found a great place that uses them for swimming lessons but they also offer a montly membership just to go swim for 30 minutes! OK Awesome! I found something I love to do.

After my 17 lb weight gain I settled in at the highest weight I had ever been. 274.6 lbs. YIKES!! SO, in late August I started swimming, Monday - Friday for 30 minutes. It felt so great to be back in the water regularly!! And I have to pass the pool to get home from work so no more excuses! I started really watching what I ate and how much I ate. I started paying close attention to my "full level" and my hunger signs. I tend to eat just to eat so started only eating when my stomach would rumble. It as a slow process but I was able to lose 9 lbs before a started my clear liquid diet 3 days before being banded. It wasn't much for 7 weeks but it was a start. Just over 1 lb a week. I was happy with that.

I started my 3 day clear liquid diet on October 12th weighing in at 265 lbs. Surgery was Monday the 15th. I was so excited. It's amazing how much weight you can lose on clear liquids. I don't ever want to have broth ever again, but I lost 5 more lbs that weekend! So I was down a total of 15 lbs by my surgery date, I was only 3 lbs from my pre-quit smoking weight! I'll take it!

I weighed in at the hospital (dressed in sweats) at 261.4. Pretty close to my scale at home. I was excited to have surgery and anxious to get started! I was ready! I had to be at the hospital at 8:30 AM and surgery was scheduled for 11:30 AM. The doctor was running late so I actually went under the knife at 12:30 PM. I woke in recovery about 3:15 PM. I first woke asking for my brother. I was anxious to get home and comfy in my own house. They wanted me to get something down so I had some jello. And munched on ice chips. I was so not hungry! I was finally able to leave the hospital and was home by 6 PM.  I took the week off of work, glad I did too. I didn't think my belly would hurt but it did hurt to move alot. Not excrusiating but enough. The pain killers were super helpful. And being home was good practice for the pureed/liquid diet I had to maintain for the first 2 weeks.

I really was not hungry the first week. I stuck to protein shakes and non-chunky soups and lots of water. SIP SIP SIP. But I was getting 64 oz a day down! I was losing about 1 lb per day. OK Cool! I didn't do much that first week. Short easy walks. But I was up and I was moving. 2nd week I was moving more. Still losing about 1 lb a day and not really feeling hungry. I was back at work and getting along well. I was eating about twice a day. I have made it a habit to only feed myself when my tummy growls. This totally has been working for me!

3rd week I was able to start soft foods and that is where I currently am. At my 2 week weigh in on 10/29/12 I was at 250 lbs. 24lbs down since August and 15 lbs. down since I began the liquid diet before surgery. My goal is 149.5 lbs. Just to say I weigh less than 150. I am still swimming and my husband and I have began walking 1 - 2 miles every evening. I feel great and am looking forward a new life!

Thanks for listening to me rant! A friend of mine said to keep a journal and a food log. I am logging and now I am journaling!