I am still here. I have been really busting my butt working out and working on getting my eating under control. It's coming along but it is been slow.
What have I been doing?!?!
I have done Zumba on my Wii twice, I have used the elliptical 3 times I think, I have ran on the treadmill twice, strength trained twice, done EA active. I have burned between 300 and 600 calories a day. And I have worked out every day this week except Monday. So I have 5 days in this week. On the work out front I am doing great! Tomorrow will probably be a rest day.
Todays workout, 20 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes running on the treadmill and 20 minutes strength training.
I have been doing a lot of thinking. I am depressed, and I know it. I just don't know how to get out of it. I've been here before. When I was in high school I was suicidal I was so depressed. As an adult I am not suicidal any more, and for the most part I haven't been depressed. But this last month I feel 2 inches tall, riddled with guilt, and like a failure.
I go to my therapist on Wednesday, I really want to talk to her. I really need something, I just wish I knew what it was. I know this all stems from what happened with my mother. But I never imagined I would struggle like this.
The good news? I know what is going on with me, and I am working to fix it. I'm trying....
Tuesday night I died my hair. It was getting too blonde so I went back to my natural color. Brown.
And I took a new pitcture
Usually I wouldn't really care what my hair looked like...It's only hair, it will grow back. But right now, it just makes me feel worse. SO Tomorrow I am getting hair extensions. I just don't need another reason to be disgusted when I look in the mirror.
My youngest had a band concert Wednesday. The kids all did a great job!
OK I think that's enough semi depressing blogging for the day. So on that note! Have a great night folks. Tomorrow is a volleyball day. And hair extensions!
Oh today's eating was good until I went to lunch with my daughter. I'm still trying....