Mad Monday Weigh In.....FAIL!!! I'm failing...

Today's weigh in....215.2....gain of .2 lbs....FAIL!!! I'm really sucking at this whole thing lately. AND it is totally my fault, and I'm pissed, and I don't know what my problem is!! UGH!!

So my totals are:
59.6 lbs down since 8/22/12!

45.0 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

Of course I know what I've done wrong. Last Thursday, when I weighed myself I was at 213. Yep, two lbs down.

Then, Friday, I was doing great until work happy hour due to 21 more layoffs. I went swimming and was debating about even going to the bar. I was going to pass, but I figured I should make an appearance with all the people that were leaving. BLAH! I ate/drank 3170 calories OMG!!!

The Saturday....I got up and had a great work out! I did my C25K workout twice! Started with W1D1 then did W7D2. Completed the 25 minutes total run without giving up! I was so stoked! It was a great way to come off of a horrible Friday binge! I burned 695 calories! BUT!!!! I was hungry all day! I was doing great until I got to the after dinner crave. I had 2025 calories Saturday! Chocolate covered pretzels, 100 calorie Klondike bar, Caramel chocolate bar, and caramel popcorn. And I know there is no way I was hungry when I ate all that!

Fast forward to Sunday! I got up and again had a great work out! Did the Wii Fit, Wii Zumba, and the elliptical for 20 minutes! Total workout time of 1 1/2 hours and I burned 705 calories! My body hurt after these two days! But it was a good hurt! I was doing good with my eating too! Then we met up with some friends at the Improv. Dinner was Chicken Marsala, my husband and I split it. Not too bad. But we ordered an appetizer, black bean dip, cheese queso, and spinach artichoke dip. Top that off with the 2 drinks I had, and the DQ Blizzard we stopped for on the way home and I finish a good day out at 2830 calories.

I reluctantly logged every one of them. So in summary I ate/drank 8000 calories in 3 days only burned 1550 calories.

Hence, the 2 lb gain from Thursday to today. I know Thursday was not an official weigh in day. But damn I was looking forward to today.

So, I am still hovering around that 215 mark that I may never pass. I am discouraged by my self-inflicted destructive behavior. WTF. I was doing so well and I am slacking bad. I know I can do this, I've been doing it for the last 6 months. UGH....

Today, I am at 477.50 calories as of lunch. I am going into the gym around 2:30 today to do my run, I am swimming at 5 tonight and hoping to burn about 500 calories. I will probably have a protein bar after my run and I plan on going home and making myself a buffalo chicken breast and eating about 3 oz. Maybe having a cup of Chai before bed and that's it. That will be about 900 calories for the day. IF I can NOT snack on EVERYTHING!!

I feel like a total failure. I have been so "on board" with my weight loss so far. But recently, I am slipping back into bad habits.

Yes, I know what I have to do:

1) Get a handle on my food and my snacking. My goal is to stay below 1000 calories a day. And good calories, not crap calories (like alcohol!). I really need to get in the right frame of mind here. WHY AM I STRUGGLING SO MUCH WITH THIS!?!?!?!

2) Continue to work out daily, on my swim only days I use to go home and use the elliptical too. I would finish my non-run days burning around 400 calories. I haven't been doing this. All last week, my swim days were only my swim days. My goal is to burn 400 calories a day PERIOD!! If I do more than 400 that's great!

3) Blog, blog every day. I have been slacking on my blogging. I was blogging everyday, I was writing about my food, and my exercise. I haven't been doing this. I was afraid I would be boring everyone with the same food/exercise writings every day. My life is just very routine and not very exciting, at least not to me. BUT, it was really helping me to stay accountable. So I am sorry if it will bore you. That is not my intention. I will try to throw some more exciting stuff in there now and again. But I have to do it every day.

4) I will start AGAIN! today! I will keep logging, exercising and I will blog one more time today, about my food, exercise and how I feel tonight.

I also have my 6th month post-op visit Wednesday. I am going to ask for a small fill. I know this won't solve my probelm. But I am hoping it will help....

Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading and letting me go on and on and on! I so have to get over this 215 lb hump....

Have a good day!

Chris :)

Friday Night Sabotage....

Why does it always seem like I sabotage myself on the weekends? With these!!!

Another 21 people were laid off today, and with that comes the gathering! There is another one 2 weeks from now for the next 13 people that are moving on. It really is kind of sad. After that, it has been guaranteed that no one else will be laid off until the end of may. 5 1/2 weeks left. 

 

I only had 2 Strawberry Margaritas. I also had my very own Chips and guacamole, and my very own Chicken Nachos. YIKES! Can you say OMG calorie fest?? So not good. So  today I (brace yourself) ate (ok are you sitting down?!?) 3070 calories OMG so not good. I need to find a new drink and mak better choices. The nachos were so good tho.

 

So tomorrow I am going to have to work out for 2 hours to make up for this. I am going to have to burn like 1500 calories Ugh!!

 

I don't know why I do this to myself. I only swam today, burned about 150 calories. I will see where I am in the morning. Pump the water to reduce the water retention and burn those calories.

 

Anyone out there have any low fat drink options when at a bar? Anyone have any after party recovery tactics? Like maybe straight liquids? Anything?!?

 

TGIF!! :) 

Ten Things Thursday! Take Two!

OK I will try this for a second time. Let's see if I can come up with 10 things. Thanks to Laura Belle we have TTT!

1)  Tomorrow is Friday! So Exciting!! I love Friday's because its the END of my work week!! My girls have a tennis match tomorrow. I get to leave work early so I can go watch!

2) Saturday is supposed to be dry, snow free, and warm! I think it is a definite weekend to get the bikes out! Sunday we are going to the Improv with some friends! Should be a fun night out!

3) My daughter is sitting on the couch painting her hand! Yes her hand! With nail polish! Teenagers are the strangest things!

4) Today was a run day. It was W7D1. 25 minutes of jogging. I did this at work on the treadmill today. I had a few bumps. I was going, and was in the room with someone else from work, they didn't have the fan on and it go SO hot. So after 5 minutes I was doing great, and the guy that was in there left. I had to stop and turn the fan on. So I had a short break and then got back on for 20 minutes consistently at 3.8 mph. SO no 25 straight but close. After that workout I opted to do W2D1. I got in about 4 miles total and burned 524 calories!! The second workout I am doing on run days is where I work on my speed. I can run 90 seconds at 4.5 MPH. When I started all this I couldn't even walk at 3 mph without huffing and puffing! YAY ME! NSV!!

 

 

5 ) I timed my mile today on the treadmill. I think it is basically 16:10. I'm OK with this. I am not super concerned with running fast right now. I'm just excited to be doing this at all!

 

6) I am kind of excited about weight in on Monday. I weighed today ( <-- scale whore) and I was only 4 lbs from my goal!! I don't think I will be able to lose 4 lbs by next Wednesday but I should be there shortly afterwards! Once I get there I  will be 1/2 way to my goal of 145 lbs!

 

7) Work is so slow its ridiculous! I was basically done by 9:30 this morning. I did a lot of putzing around!

 

8) Four reasons I LOVE Wednesday Nights! Dean, Sam, Diggle, & Oliver!

9) The reason I love Thursday nights! Vincent & Cat! I am a total Superhero/forbidden love junkie! I admit it! I so want to be in the fantasy! This real life shit sucks!! :)

 

 

10) I absolutely love this summery blouse and I will find a way to wear it even once I lose another 70 lbs!!

 

Thank goodness! I'm out of things to say! Have a great evening and a fabulous Friday! Luv ya! Hugz all around! :)

Hump Day Happenings!

Happy Hump Day everyone!! Today was 10 degrees warmer then yesterday and the snow is melting! It is suppose to be nice this weekend!! And maybe more snow next week! Nice!

Yesterday was an awesome workout day!! Since the weather was horrible, I decided to do my run in the gym at work before I headed home! I went 3.4 miles on the treadmill and I completed W6D2 of the C25K! 22 minutes of jogging!! After yesterdays run I am at 39.36 miles! Almost to that 40 mile mark! I was dying when it was over but I finished. To stay in routine I also repeated W3D2 making my total workout time 1 hour. And the sweat was pouring off of me! EWWW!!  I like my running gear! Lane Bryant size 14/16. Back in October I was wearing size 22!And I NEVER would have worn any legging type carpis!

I have to wear knee braces on both of my knees. I tore my left ACL skiing back in 2003 then had it repaired and all the extra weight has killed my right knee. So gross! I sweat so bad under my knee braces... See!?!?

But...510 calories gone!! Today was a slow day.....I went swimming and burned about 150 calories.

 

Then I came home and picked up my oldest so we could run over and look  at a ballroom to have her Sweet 16! I am so excited to be throwing this party! I didn't have a Sweet 16 so I am living vicariously though my kids :) This is my first baby girl! She will be 16 in two months!

All in all was a good day!

 

Tomorrow is a run day. I am going to try to run at work again. Tomorrow night I have a M'lis body contouring wrap scheduled. I am not sure if it is going to work. But I figure its worth a shot. It is supposed to be a permanent thing. I am hoping getting a few of these wraps help tighten things up a bit, smooth things out. They say you don't lose any weight just inches. The reviews are good too. We shall see.

 

Anywho!! Have a great night! And thanks for reading!

Mad Monday Weigh In...

today's weigh in...215.00! loss of 2.4 lbs. I'm happy with this, and it shows that I have been really trying this past week after last weeks yuck! So close to that 60 lb mark since my highest! So want to see the other side of 215.

So my totals are:
59.8 lbs down since 8/22/12!

45.2 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

My average weight loss has gone down a bit since I decided to get serious (about 2 months before surgery). Lets recap. I have averaged a loss 1.76 lbs a week since 8/22/13. I have averaged a loss 1.81 lbs a week since surgery 10/15/12.

8/22/12 to 9/30/12? Loss 9.4 lbs

10/1/12 to 10/31/12 (Surgery was 10/15/13)? Loss 15.4 lbs

11/1/12 to 11/30/12? Loss 6 lbs

12/1/12 to 12/31/12? Loss 10 lbs (this was epic. I couldn't believe I lost 10 lbs over the holidays.)

1/1/13 to 1/31/13? Loss 7.2 lbs

2/1/13 to 2/28/13? Loss 6 lbs

3/1/13 to 3/31/13? Loss 4 lbs (Yikes 2 weeks with no exercise. Hernia surgery...)

4/1/13 to 4/8/13? Loss 1.8 lbs

I was hoping to hit the 50lb mark by next Wednesday but I don't think I am going to make it. I will be 6 months post-op on 4/15/13. And when I hit 209.8 that will be 1/2 way to my goal of 145. 

That's OK. I am good with my results thus far. I do still wish there was a magic wand I could waive that would make it go faster. But alas....

Marc inspires me with the tracking of his miles. So I am going to try this too! Hope you don't mind Marc!

I am keeping a spreadsheet on this. So far I have 35.96 treadmill/outdoor miles jogging/walking with the C25K program. 23.38 miles is outside. I prefer the outside to the treadmill. It scares me because I do not feel very steady. It's a really old treadmill, maybe that's why. I plan on getting a new one in June.

It's neat seeing this number. I don't have a mileage goal set, but this will help me to better track my run days!

Blue OGrady is looking for some new blogs to read. So head on over and leave your blog address for her :)

This weekend was good. Saturday I got my sweat on with the elliptical and yesterday I did W6D1 followed by W3D2. I got 4 miles in! I am trying to work on increasing my pace with my second set. I was able to run faster for about 45 seconds. I will clock it better this week. Typically I can only get 2 miles in during the week and save the 4 miles for the weekends because of work. We will see if I can get out of work early this week to get more in.

I think I am going to have to find another place to swim until August. They are getting busier with the summer coming and have less appointment slots available. We shall see. I might look into the rec center.

The weekend was beautiful. We didn't get the bikes out but they are cleaned, checked and ready to go! Maybe next weekend.

Colorado weather is crazy. It was a nice WINDY 66 degrees today, and we are expecting a blizzard tonight!! They are calling for 18 degrees tomorrow and 7 - 12 inches of snow! If it is going to snow I hope it just dumps. I would really like another day off!

Work has gotten cosmically boring. I was done working by 11 AM today. Going to be a long six weeks. Got caught up on blogs though!

OK I have to stop typing, I have to leave for the pool.  5 o'clock appointment today.

I leave you with this! I stole them from Julie. :) She posts some great inspirational quotes!

Have a great night everyone!

TGIFFF!!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!

Today was a good day! How could it not be, it's Friday! Our company closed early today in honor of the Rockies opening day game. Bonus for us!

Nothing exciting to report. My workout today was awesome! I swam, and to top it all off, I swan for 27 minutes straight!  Roughly .85 miles! About 200 calories. (I think that's a little on the low side but it's an estimate). And then did a run outside in the beautiful weather we had today! It was so nice! I am excited about my run! Today I thought I would go and try W5D3 today. This is where I left off right before I had surgery. I had been avoiding this because I didn't think I was ready. But today felt right! I did it! 20 minutes without stopping! So Excited! I thought I was gonna die when I was done, but I did it! I finished around 2 miles. I wanted to go 2 more miles so I also did W4D3. I was able to finish that too. I went a total of 4.06 miles! And I burned about 848 calories! Damn great day!!

Tomorrow is my massage day! Also have to take the girls to be fitted for their letter jackets, and run a few errands. Tomorrow is Chinese food for dinner, have to be careful with that. High calorie, any suggestions?

 

I am running out of Internet at work, so boring. Today I was finished with work by 9:30 this morning. Thank goodness it was a short day!!

 

So happy weekend everyone! 



Happy Hump day! And Please don't hate...

How was your day?!?! Mine was, not too bad. Work was work. I am slowly running out of things to do. There are 8 weeks left until my new journey begins. So, there is a lot of Internet surfing, you tube music video watching going on today. Tomorrow I am leaving early because I am swimming at 3:30 and then I am going to watch my daughters play in a tennis match. Friday the office closes at 2. So the weekend is a coming!

Ah, and with the weekend comes...warmer weather!!! And the forecast looks dry! So Friday we are going to scope out a banquet room for my daughters Sweet 16 coming up in June, Saturday is my massage day :) Love this! And family dinner night!

I am super excited about the nice weather this weekend!! It's time to get my baby road ready and go for a ride. She's a beauty I tell ya!

She's been studded since this picture was taken back then She is not a Harley but I love my V-Star! We have bonded! I started riding in 2009. It was the summer after my dad passed away. It was actually my mom's idea. My dad loved riding so she wanted to learn after he died. So we took the class together. I love my bike! And the open road is calling!! The only time I truly have a clear mind is on the bike!

Exercise today was good, I swam for 1/2 hour and went for a 2.38 mile run when I got home tonight. I am really liking running outside! I burned about 536 calories today! My weight was down nicely this morning when I weighed, but since it's not official til Monday I won't tell :) I have also been doing well with my food choices and calorie intake. I was under 1200 calories Monday ad Tuesday and under 1300 calories today. So I've consumed 3580.60 in the last 3 days and burned 1136 exercise calories. I have averaged 814 calories a day over the last 3 days. I don't subtract my calorie burn from my daily calories typically. But its kind of cool looking at it like that!

OK, This is gonna be a long a one but, I have to go there. I read something today where having bariatric surgery is "cheating" or the "easy way out". It was a persons opinion, but none the less it bothered me a bit. They are doing it "the old fashion way" and having success. I get that, and I respect that! I tried the old fashion way for a LONG LONG LONG LONG time. In my eyes, I have been heavy my whole life. Hell, In my eyes I will always be that ugly, fat girl that no one can really truly love.

Well, I found a picture of myself from back in the 80s and I would take that body over this one any day. But, I was teased, bullied, ridiculed, depressed & abused as a kid, at home and through my high school years. As a matter of fact, I despised high school. Those kids were nasty people. I never felt secure at home or at school. It's a battle I still struggle with daily, but I am trying and making progress, I think. I was belittled in both places and I felt like a piece of shit on the bottom of some ones shoe ALL THE TIME!! But, everyone has a sob story, I get that. It's no excuse. Boy, if only I knew then what I know now. I did all the diets. Slim fast, Nutri-system, all the diet pills, weight watchers, South Beach, etc. I was most successful with South Beach, I lost 53 lbs. I was eating right, exercising, and I quit smoking, but then I plateaued. It took me 18 months to lose that 53 lbs. And I am OK with slow weight loss. Well that weight loss occurred back in 2008. I was 197 Christmas of 2008.

Then my dad died, my family completely fell apart, my sister started doing heavy drugs, her son became my son, he was traumatized, my kids were traumatized, I walked out on my family 5 times in the last 1 1/2 years, almost filed for divorce, and everyone leaned on me harder for all the answers. So I took care of everyone! EVERYONE but ME!! I started smoking again, more than before, I was depressed, and I turned to Dairy Queen and cold stone to make myself feel better. I smoked so I wouldn't gain 500 lbs, but I ate, and ate, and ate. I ate my way from 197 to 257 in 3 years. And by the time the gaining was all said and done, I was up 78 lbs. to my highest weight ever of 274.8. That was the changing point for me. YES I HAD BARIATRIC SURGERY!! I had a lap band put inside my body! Come on people don't hate. What this person calls life threatening, I call life saving. Having surgery was no more of a death threat then the cardiac arrest I was eating myself into.  It's a tool, I still have to work just as hard as they do to lose weight. It is by no means easy. It offers me portion control, but I can still over eat and I don't get sick every time. But it is a permanent reminder of what I was becoming and what I don't want to be.

So to my friends that have the ability to do it "the old fashion way", I applaud you! I admire you!

And to my friends that have had bariatric surgery, whether it be lap band, or gastric bypass, or gastric  sleeve, I applaud you! And I admire you!

Why, because like me, we all had/have a food problem. Not a weight problem, a food problem. The weight problem is the end result. And we have all chosen to do something about it. I was in the 40% category. The insurance companies and doctors called me "morbidly obese". I looked at myself everyday, disgusted. I hated myself, I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.

So please, don't hate. Don't hate because I made a choice different from yours. There is enough of that in the world already. I will support you in the decision you made, won't you support me in mine?

Please, this is not meant to offend. Have a great night!