Ah, and with the weekend comes...warmer weather!!! And the forecast looks dry! So Friday we are going to scope out a banquet room for my daughters Sweet 16 coming up in June, Saturday is my massage day :) Love this! And family dinner night!
I am super excited about the nice weather this weekend!! It's time to get my baby road ready and go for a ride. She's a beauty I tell ya!
Exercise today was good, I swam for 1/2 hour and went for a 2.38 mile run when I got home tonight. I am really liking running outside! I burned about 536 calories today! My weight was down nicely this morning when I weighed, but since it's not official til Monday I won't tell :) I have also been doing well with my food choices and calorie intake. I was under 1200 calories Monday ad Tuesday and under 1300 calories today. So I've consumed 3580.60 in the last 3 days and burned 1136 exercise calories. I have averaged 814 calories a day over the last 3 days. I don't subtract my calorie burn from my daily calories typically. But its kind of cool looking at it like that!
OK, This is gonna be a long a one but, I have to go there. I read something today where having bariatric surgery is "cheating" or the "easy way out". It was a persons opinion, but none the less it bothered me a bit. They are doing it "the old fashion way" and having success. I get that, and I respect that! I tried the old fashion way for a LONG LONG LONG LONG time. In my eyes, I have been heavy my whole life. Hell, In my eyes I will always be that ugly, fat girl that no one can really truly love.
Well, I found a picture of myself from back in the 80s and I would take that body over this one any day. But, I was teased, bullied, ridiculed, depressed & abused as a kid, at home and through my high school years. As a matter of fact, I despised high school. Those kids were nasty people. I never felt secure at home or at school. It's a battle I still struggle with daily, but I am trying and making progress, I think. I was belittled in both places and I felt like a piece of shit on the bottom of some ones shoe ALL THE TIME!! But, everyone has a sob story, I get that. It's no excuse. Boy, if only I knew then what I know now. I did all the diets. Slim fast, Nutri-system, all the diet pills, weight watchers, South Beach, etc. I was most successful with South Beach, I lost 53 lbs. I was eating right, exercising, and I quit smoking, but then I plateaued. It took me 18 months to lose that 53 lbs. And I am OK with slow weight loss. Well that weight loss occurred back in 2008. I was 197 Christmas of 2008.
Then my dad died, my family completely fell apart, my sister started doing heavy drugs, her son became my son, he was traumatized, my kids were traumatized, I walked out on my family 5 times in the last 1 1/2 years, almost filed for divorce, and everyone leaned on me harder for all the answers. So I took care of everyone! EVERYONE but ME!! I started smoking again, more than before, I was depressed, and I turned to Dairy Queen and cold stone to make myself feel better. I smoked so I wouldn't gain 500 lbs, but I ate, and ate, and ate. I ate my way from 197 to 257 in 3 years. And by the time the gaining was all said and done, I was up 78 lbs. to my highest weight ever of 274.8. That was the changing point for me. YES I HAD BARIATRIC SURGERY!! I had a lap band put inside my body! Come on people don't hate. What this person calls life threatening, I call life saving. Having surgery was no more of a death threat then the cardiac arrest I was eating myself into. It's a tool, I still have to work just as hard as they do to lose weight. It is by no means easy. It offers me portion control, but I can still over eat and I don't get sick every time. But it is a permanent reminder of what I was becoming and what I don't want to be.
So to my friends that have the ability to do it "the old fashion way", I applaud you! I admire you!
And to my friends that have had bariatric surgery, whether it be lap band, or gastric bypass, or gastric sleeve, I applaud you! And I admire you!
Why, because like me, we all had/have a food problem. Not a weight problem, a food problem. The weight problem is the end result. And we have all chosen to do something about it. I was in the 40% category. The insurance companies and doctors called me "morbidly obese". I looked at myself everyday, disgusted. I hated myself, I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to do something.
So please, don't hate. Don't hate because I made a choice different from yours. There is enough of that in the world already. I will support you in the decision you made, won't you support me in mine?
Please, this is not meant to offend. Have a great night!