Monday, April 15, 2013

Mad Monday Weigh In.....FAIL!!! I'm failing...

Today's weigh in....215.2....gain of .2 lbs....FAIL!!! I'm really sucking at this whole thing lately. AND it is totally my fault, and I'm pissed, and I don't know what my problem is!! UGH!!

So my totals are:
59.6 lbs down since 8/22/12!
45.0 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!
Of course I know what I've done wrong. Last Thursday, when I weighed myself I was at 213. Yep, two lbs down.
Then, Friday, I was doing great until work happy hour due to 21 more layoffs. I went swimming and was debating about even going to the bar. I was going to pass, but I figured I should make an appearance with all the people that were leaving. BLAH! I ate/drank 3170 calories OMG!!!
The Saturday....I got up and had a great work out! I did my C25K workout twice! Started with W1D1 then did W7D2. Completed the 25 minutes total run without giving up! I was so stoked! It was a great way to come off of a horrible Friday binge! I burned 695 calories! BUT!!!! I was hungry all day! I was doing great until I got to the after dinner crave. I had 2025 calories Saturday! Chocolate covered pretzels, 100 calorie Klondike bar, Caramel chocolate bar, and caramel popcorn. And I know there is no way I was hungry when I ate all that!
Fast forward to Sunday! I got up and again had a great work out! Did the Wii Fit, Wii Zumba, and the elliptical for 20 minutes! Total workout time of 1 1/2 hours and I burned 705 calories! My body hurt after these two days! But it was a good hurt! I was doing good with my eating too! Then we met up with some friends at the Improv. Dinner was Chicken Marsala, my husband and I split it. Not too bad. But we ordered an appetizer, black bean dip, cheese queso, and spinach artichoke dip. Top that off with the 2 drinks I had, and the DQ Blizzard we stopped for on the way home and I finish a good day out at 2830 calories.
I reluctantly logged every one of them. So in summary I ate/drank 8000 calories in 3 days only burned 1550 calories.
Hence, the 2 lb gain from Thursday to today. I know Thursday was not an official weigh in day. But damn I was looking forward to today.
So, I am still hovering around that 215 mark that I may never pass. I am discouraged by my self-inflicted destructive behavior. WTF. I was doing so well and I am slacking bad. I know I can do this, I've been doing it for the last 6 months. UGH....
Today, I am at 477.50 calories as of lunch. I am going into the gym around 2:30 today to do my run, I am swimming at 5 tonight and hoping to burn about 500 calories. I will probably have a protein bar after my run and I plan on going home and making myself a buffalo chicken breast and eating about 3 oz. Maybe having a cup of Chai before bed and that's it. That will be about 900 calories for the day. IF I can NOT snack on EVERYTHING!!
I feel like a total failure. I have been so "on board" with my weight loss so far. But recently, I am slipping back into bad habits.
Yes, I know what I have to do:
1) Get a handle on my food and my snacking. My goal is to stay below 1000 calories a day. And good calories, not crap calories (like alcohol!). I really need to get in the right frame of mind here. WHY AM I STRUGGLING SO MUCH WITH THIS!?!?!?!
2) Continue to work out daily, on my swim only days I use to go home and use the elliptical too. I would finish my non-run days burning around 400 calories. I haven't been doing this. All last week, my swim days were only my swim days. My goal is to burn 400 calories a day PERIOD!! If I do more than 400 that's great!
3) Blog, blog every day. I have been slacking on my blogging. I was blogging everyday, I was writing about my food, and my exercise. I haven't been doing this. I was afraid I would be boring everyone with the same food/exercise writings every day. My life is just very routine and not very exciting, at least not to me. BUT, it was really helping me to stay accountable. So I am sorry if it will bore you. That is not my intention. I will try to throw some more exciting stuff in there now and again. But I have to do it every day.
4) I will start AGAIN! today! I will keep logging, exercising and I will blog one more time today, about my food, exercise and how I feel tonight.

I also have my 6th month post-op visit Wednesday. I am going to ask for a small fill. I know this won't solve my probelm. But I am hoping it will help....
Sorry this is so long and thanks for reading and letting me go on and on and on! I so have to get over this 215 lb hump....
Have a good day!
Chris :)


  1. Don't write your blog for any audience other than YOU!! And stop apologizing. :-)

    I read blogs to see how people are doing. Being pre-band, i want to know what works and what struggle come to other people. I

    Like you said - you KNOW what to do. What is getting in your way? What's eating you?

  2. So, what is going on emotionally with you? I have no doubt you will be back in the game in no time.

  3. Hi Chris!

    Well, exercise does not burn off as many calories as the popular estimates say. They have loads of research on that--that exercise calorie expenditures currently listed are far too high. No one, including not me or you, can exercise off a binge, unless you exercise an entire day away. I estimate that my 2 hour weightlifting sessions burn 200 to 250 extra calories. I believe that my 2 1/2 hour run/cardio/yoga Saturdays might burn off 250 to 300 calories. That's it. Calculate your exercise expenditure to be those kind of numbers. When in doubt, calculate it on the low side.

    I personally don't know how much help lap bands are or aren't, but you might still have to use other tools like careful food journaling, maybe a weight loss support group, and more strategic eating such as severely limiting carbs. It looks up there as though you had rather severe carb cravings, which can be relieved by eating more protein and hardly any refined carbs.

    But on the positive, you can *totally* do this! I'm rooting for ya! :D

    :-) Marion

  4. You can get back in this game. I know it!

  5. sounds like a fill is in order...that is way more than 1cup of food eaten at a time. I find if my fill level is correct..I don't struggle as much. But I agree with Terrie..what is going on emotionally with you? Hugs--I have faith you will figure this out!

  6. First off you aren't failing. You are struggling to make good choices. we've all been there done that. You are't perfect, none of us are...some days we make good choices some day bad. The key is to not use a few bad choices become a reason for continuing down the wrong path. You need to figure out what your triggers are (maybe eating out) and not do that until you have better control. I know for me it's having sweets in the house. If there aren't there I won't go buy them, but if there's any in the house I'll binge until it's gone. We are all learning, so don't beat yourself up.

  7. A gain of .2 is a fail?
    I bet you don't classify me as a failure, and I have gained 20 from my lowest.
    Speak kindly to yourself (one of the hardest things for me to do.)

    You probably need a smidgen of a fill, that will help keep you full between meals, and avoid snacking.

    I know you can do this! Most of us step off the wagon for a second or two... just make sure you get back on and that you are driving!

    Chin up! You've got this!

  8. Definitely not boring, love reading your blogs! Awesome workouts too xxx

  9. 45 pounds down since October is not a fail, Chris, nope. Try a fill. It helped me recently and I was convinced it would not since I was eating snacky type foods.

    It sounds like social events are where you have the most trouble- you need to have a plan in advance for that.

    Remember, your blog is for you. Don't worry about if it is just a plan or something some days. Do what helps you.

  10. Don't get down. This is just a temporary setback. You are facing unbelievable stress right now. Soon this too shall pass. You are a success story! But life happens and you move past and carry on.

  11. I'm glad you are seeing your doctor Wednesday. Why don't you ask him what his suggestion is for how many calories you should be eating per day? I find when I overly restrict my calories, it sets me up to want to binge later. :-(

    I think you have done great, and you'll figure this out, like you have the other challenges. It stinks to have setbacks, but they are where we learn, and good on you for honestly evaluating the data and fighting back to figure out what you need to do. :-)

  12. I am cheering for you...hang tough!

  13. Everybody said everything I wanted to say, so I'll keep it short...
    You're doing wonderfully. It's easy to look at life as a snapshot, but look back on the past 6 months and realize how far you've come. You'll pull it back together. Just cut yourself a little slack :)

  14. you'll get past just will!
    We've all hit the rough spots, and some how, we get through.
    Good job on all that exercise!

  15. One bad week isn't the same thing as failing. It's clear all of these work happy hours are stressful for you because you are all losing your jobs! It also sounds like alcohol is a trigger for you. Can you go to these parties and not drink? Plan ahead for something low-calorie you can drink and/or eat, or eat something before you go. You are well aware that those outings are not going well, and I know you can come up with some strategies to deal with them.

    I think Cheri's point is very good too, that you may be eating too little on many days so that you are having some backlash binges. That happens to me too. Maybe you need to eat just a little more healthy, protein-rich foods on a regular basis, even if it means slower weight loss.

    I'm still struggling with these things myself, so I will try to take my own advice!

  16. Thanks everyone! I will be back at it! I will ask the Doc about the calorie intake and see what he says. Thanks for reading everyone!