A family apart......

OK I am going to vent for a minute. Why here? Because no one I know reads this really, at least I don't think. So here goes....

We went to dinner tonight. I received a gift card from work today and thought it would be nice to have dinner as a family. That is something that just doesn't happen often...so we went to Red Robin....well...I love my family ....really I do....but...

Everyone in our family expects support from me. Husband, kids, mother, sister, nephew, etc. But man, I ask for a little and I get nothing. Not only in the weight loss area, but in the human area too. My kids sometimes, (pretty rarely), back talk something horrible. But it is happening more often. I know they are teenagers and it is expected. But sometimes the blatant disrespect is baffling. I didn't raise them that way and if we hadn't been in the car I might have really let her have it. I would have gotten my teeth smacked out of my face if I talked to my parents like that. But it would be nice for once for the hubby to speak up in my defense. "Don't talk to your mother like that" would have been a great response. Instead I got nothing. NOTHING!!!

I am to the point I think it would be best for us to not even live together. There I said it!! I have felt it for so long and never said it! I even said it in the car and NOTHING!!! ARGH!!! I am so frustrated!!

So yes, this family doesn't feel much like a family. I know I know, this is all normal, but some days are easier to ignore than others. Today is not one of those days.

Anyway, I have figured out that stress makes my band feel tighter. This is something I have read on a lot of your blogs. But I felt it today. I wasn't hungry AT ALL today, but I ate anyway. I think I probably could have just skipped eating most of the day.

Bad food choices today! You bet!! Let the weekend sabotage begin! NO NO NO!!! At Red Robin for dinner I had 1 onion ring, a few spoonfuls of Artichoke Spinach dip, 1/2 a bacon cheese burger, a few fries, and yep I drank raspberry ice tea with dinner. The I came home and ate an entire bag of popcorn with sugar free caramel on it!! Let the guilt set in.

Nope didn't work out today either. Had to cancel my swim appointment because of work. Then had to get home to take the girls to the orthodontist, then straight to dinner an home around 9:30 pm to eat popcorn. Yes I'm tired. I didn't get all my water in either....

I was supposed to run yesterday and didn't because of my knee, didn't run tonight either for what ever reason, and now its supposed to blizzard tomorrow.

OK I'm done. Off my pity pot. Time to get back on the hamster wheel and make things move again.

Maybe it's the 2 days with virtually no exercise that have me feeling like a slug...Have a great weekend!

OK Ten Things Thursday Take II (Awesome NSV as #10)

Second stab at this! Lets see if I have 10 things for today....(Major NSV at the end!)

1) Less than 90 days left to another road in this journey called life. No drinking this week! Thank goodness! So hard to say no...

2) I didn't run today. My knee is hurting pretty bad. Even kicking in the pool. My brother said to take it easy so I fought the guilt off and didn't run today. I went swimming, burned only 150 calories and then came home and gave my knee a break. Tomorrow night I will run!

3) I have some kind of a skin rash going on around my eye and on my back. WTF is that?!?! Heat rash maybe?!?! From sweat?!?!

4) I am looking forward to weigh in day on Monday. I think the results are gonna be great!

5) The weathermen are calling for a MAJOR snow storm this weekend starting tomorrow. Yes I live in Colorado, but I don't really like the cold or hot. I need to live somewhere where it is always Spring!

6) Work is super slow and has been boring lately. Yikes...

7) I am so bummed that Arrow, Supernatural and Beauty and the Beast are on hiatus (mid season intermission). Next week Beauty and the Beast starts back up and Arrow and Supernatural are the week after that. It makes me sad, this means the seasons are almost over....No clue what I am gonna watch from June to October...

8) I am having a really hard time thinking of 10 things today....

9) A week ago at Lane Bryant I got 7 pair of jeans size 14 (in anticipation of the future) for $14. Yes $2 a pair. I had originally ordered the wrong size online and used $100 of real women dollars when I did. I returned the wrong jeans to the store and had them order the right ones. The ones I really needed were marked down to $12 & $22 per pair. Then they honored my real women dollars too. $14 baby!!

10) MAJOR NSV ALERT!!! Those size 14 jeans came in today. So I thought I would go try them on....and OMG....they fit!!! And comfortably fit at that! That is 8 sizes down. I was a size 22 when I started all this! On top of that, I went and got out an old pair of Rider jeans and they fit too! A little snug but not bad at all!! Loving this! See!!!

Have a great night folks! TGIF! One more sleep and it's FINALLY here!!!

Hump Day!!

Happy Hump Day everyone!!

The week is 1/2 over and I am so ready for Friday!

Tonight we went to my youngest daughters Varsity Basketball awards ceremony. And my baby lettered!! The highschool my girls go to is new. it's only been open for 3 years. It has 9 - 11 graders. The Varsity Basketball team consisted of only freshman and sophmore players. She is only a freshman and she was benched for the majority of the season. She played a few minutes in about 8 games. She was so discouraged and wanted to quit at least 5 times (probaby more) that I can remember talking her down off the ledge. She came home crying several times from practice because of the starters making fun of her but I didn't want her to quit. 2 reasons - 1) She would regret the decision to quit in the long run, and 2) She started basketball season and she needed to see it through. Finish what she started. I am proud of her, she did finish. It was a very hard season for her. But she toughed it out and in the end it was all worth it! Especially her face! She was glad she lettered but this is not what she was super excited about.

Her first High School Varsity Letter! But this is what she got really excited about!

The coaches named her the Most Improved Player! He even touched on the fact that she wanted to quit and toughed it out and finished the season. This meant more to her then lettering and truth be told, I teared up. Just sitting here typing this is making me tear up!

She hasn't had the easiest life, my little girl, so moments like these really get to me.

 

OK Thanks for letting me boast about my girl!!

 

So on to today's workout. No swimming because of the basketball party. But I came home and got on my elliptical. I think my HRM was dirty or something the first time. Because I know the calorie burn isn't right on it. I did one of the pre-programed calorie burn workouts and the elliptical said (277 calories) vs the HRM that said (143 calories): I know this is wrong. The ellitical runs about 25 calories faster than my HRM so they are usually close. So that being said I am calling this first 20 minutes 250 calories give or take a few.

For the second round I decided to do the C25K on the elliptical just to keep going. I washed the chest strap of my HRM really well and tried again. I got much better results the second time around. The elliptical said 248 calories and my HRM said  234. We will say about 25 calories difference even though the pictures say 18 (I didn't stop the HRM right away).  So I'm going to call today about 500 calories. I'm good with that! Big pictures again sorry...

Food today was great!

Calories: 1096.88

Fat: 19.88

Sugar: 59.00

Protein: 78.13

 

OK folks! Have a great night! It's sleepy time!

 

Happy Hump Day Eve!!

Tuesday night! That means we are almost 1/2 way there! 1/2 way to Friday!

Today was a good day. I worked, I swam and I ran. I burned about 150 calories swimming this afternoon (not exact, my HRM wasn't cooperating). I completed week 4 day 2 of the C25K. I was seriously dragging ass. But I did finish! And I feel good!

 

I have used the Mapmywalk app a few times now and it looks like my average mile is just under 17 minutes. Nope, I am not going to worry about how fast I am running. I am just glad to be doing it at all and moving. So total calorie burn for today is around 400. Maybe slightly more. Fitbit says 9329 steps so far today.

 

{Scale Whore Alert} Since I weight myself all time (I know bad bad habit) that .6 lbs is gone (actually it was gone by the time I got home from work yesterday) and a little more. If I can keep it up for the rest of the week I should have good results come next Monday.

 

Have I told y'all how wonderful you are today?!?!?! THANK YOU!! For you! For your support! For your inspiration! and for reading!

 

Have a great evening!

Mad Monday Weigh In...

I knew it was coming and I was prepared. Disappointed but prepared. Today's weight?!?!?
221.4...gain of .6 lbs. It could have been so much worse!! It was much worse around Thursday last week. Thankfully all the partying is done for now. And I plan to take it easy on the alcohol (like have none) for the rest of the month. This should be fairly easy considering I'm having surgery in two weeks.

So my totals are:

53.4 lbs down since 8/22/12!

38.8 lbs down since surgery on 10/15/12!

 

No scale picture today. Not because it was a gain, but because my phone was downstairs and I was upstairs when I weighed this morning.

 

I know this will disappear quick. And by weigh in day next week I will drop below 220! That's my mini goal for this week!

 

I am swimming after work today and then going home to tear up the elliptical for 1/2 hour! That's the plan. Then dinner for the fam.

 

Short and sweet for today because I am posting at work. Yep I'm bored! OK quick before the boss comes over! Chow Bella's!

Last call for alcohol!!!

Well...In all honesty, probably not, but the party week is over. Funny I don't drink at home or daily for that matter, I am really only a social drinker. I was so tired after all the drinking and dancing yesterday I slept til Noon. And the family let me. I NEVER sleep til noon. Geez!!

So needless to say yesterday was a lazy day. I didn't do much of anything except sit in my recliner and watch TV.

Today was good. I got up around 8:45 this morning and went outside to do day 1 of week 4 of the C25K. It was a beautiful day outside today. Somewhere around 60 degrees. So I opted to go outside for my run.

After reading what it entailed I do have to say, I was super discouraged! 5 min warm up walk, 3 min jog, 90 sec walk, 5 min jog, 2.5 min walk, 3 min jog, 90 sec walk, 5 min jog, 5 min cool down walk. There was no way that ME, someone that has never run a day in her life, has had knee pain just from walking, and could barely breathe, was going to be able to jog for 5 solid minutes. NO WAY!!! I was defeated before I even started today. So you know what I did, I started anyway! Those crazy ass demons that have haunted me for so long, Kept telling me that there was no way I could do this. I was so doubtful.

So I walked for 5 minutes, and jogged for 3 minutes then walked for 90 seconds, and then jogged for 5 MINUTES and walked for 2.5 minutes!!! And repeated all that again!!!! OMG I was so excited! I can't beleive I did it! Ironic that I came accross this today while I was reading thinfluenced.

And when I arrived back at my starting point 2.18 miles later I decided that I could do more! So I went back to week 1 day 1 of the C25K and did that. I walked/ran a total of 4.36 miles today! I did not run fast, and I walked when I was supposed to. And my legs burned and felt like jello when I finished. But I finished. I was proud of myself. I felt accomplished. And I burned 569 calories doing it!

 

I also realized my support system at home totally sucks! I was so proud of myself I came inside and told the hubby and the kids and I got nothing. My daughters both laughed and said, "your not really running mom." and the husband didn't anything at all. Nice. So glad I can count on everyone. So I sent a message to my brother telling him what I did and he boosted my confidence by saying he was proud of me and great job. Amazes me how I can get more support from total strangers but the people that are supposed to give a shit the most give nothing. Whatever thats fine. I can do this on my own! I feel great, and whether they like it or not, this is all about me. For the first time in 40 years!

 

Tomorrow is weigh in day: Not sure what to expect. I have been working hard to get my alcoholic binge pounds to go away. I am not expecting a loss of any kind and I am hoping to just be back where I was last Monday. Time will tell.

 

So I leave you with this, because for me these hit super close to home right now. Thanks again thinfluenced!

 

Have a great Sunday night everyone! And thanks for reading and being a great support system! It's hard to know I can't count on those I should, but good to know I am not alone! I am greatful to have "met" each of you!

Get your dance on!!

Friday night was a blast. A bunch of us from work went to a bar and saw a band called the Boogie Machine last night! They play 70's music. It was a total blast. We drank the night away and then sweated it all out on the dance floor. Or most of it at least! I danced for almost 4 solid hours! No clue how many calories that is. But I fitbit says it was over 14000 steps and almost 3000 calories for the day. So I am guessing that I had to of burned at least 800 just dancing. Swam too. Food wasn't great but the dancing made up for that.

Was a great time! Danced so long and hard by knees and legs hurt today.

Tired today and I think maybe a little hung over. I think this week will be calmer and more normal.

 

OK very tired. So short and sweet. Have a great Saturday everyone! :)