What does this mean for me? Well....lets see....it means that 11 months ago I made a choice. I looked in the mirror one day and couldn't smile. I didn't like what was looking back. I stood in the elevator to my office and looked at the ground and couldn't see my feet past my belly. I was winded walking from the parking lot to the building. I was tired ALL the time! And maybe the worst thing of all! I kept telling myself I was fine and I this is all that I was going to become. I was my worst enemy. I had excuses for EVERYTHING!!
One day a VIP in my life said to me. "Please do something, do something for yourself, I need you to be around for a long time." Do something for myself, this is something I never really thought about. So, I called and made an appointment with CBSI for information, and before the appointment was over I had decided to bite the bullet and do something for ME. I didn't do it for the kids, or my mom, or my sisters, or my nephew, or my husband, or my brothers....I did it for ME! With tears in my eyes I looked at my used, run down body, and I said "I will do it for me." I have made so many changes.
The first major choice, I quit smoking. Yikes! I have been smoke free for 11 months today! My excuse before, I didn't want to quit because I would gain weight. And I did. I gained 17 lbs in the 4 months following my decision to change. And I looked in the mirror again, now at my highest weight ever of 274.8 and I was disgusted and angry. That was the moment I decided I would not be defeated. I sat and thought long and hard about what I wanted to do. I found exercise I enjoyed. I started slow, but I started. I lost 14.6 lbs before surgery, leaving me only 2.6 lbs heavier then when I quit smoking 6 months earlier. Proof that I could be smoke free and lose weight! This was the first NSV for me and I didn't even know it.
Since surgery I have lost 41.6 lbs. I have averaged 8.32 lbs per month. I can swim for 20 solid minutes without taking a break, I can walk up 2 flights of stairs and still breath when I reach the top, I can chase the girls around the house and catch them, I can jog for 5 minutes, I sleep solid all night long, I can workout on the elliptical for 45 minutes and live, I have dropped 8 pant sizes, I can see muscle definition in my legs, but most of all, I can look in the mirror and smile. I'm not there yet, I still have 73.6 lbs to go, but I see the hard work paying off. I see the changes in my body, in the way I feel, and in pictures I would have never taken before. And this is only at 5 months. 6 months will be epic!
It's been hard, but the hardest thing, was putting me, and what I wanted before everyone else. I have always taken care of everyone else, and back burnered anything I wanted for me. No one ever asked what I wanted. My VIP said, "I just want you to be happy." I had never thought about those words before. At least not in the context I do now. The first step to being happy, was finding happiness in myself. Believing in me.
So I plug away every day, I sweat, I moan and groan and I complain, and then I breathe and smile. And I see changes. And I've gone from rarely taking pictures:
To being proud of the changes I have made and not being afraid to let the world know it: I am almost 1/2 of me!
SO I say....
HELLO WORLD! I HAD LAP BAND SURGERY TO HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT AND IT'S BEEN A LIFE SAVING & LIFE CHANGING DECISION! IN MORE THEN ONE WAY!
AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!
Happy Thursday to you! Have a great day!